Hello, Yellow Brick Road
by Bekki
Summary: Jack pointed to the small cottages, then to the large green city on the horizon. At Daniel’s perplexed look, he then removed one of the shoes from the dead woman’s feet and held it in the air. It was slender, sparkly and…red.
1. The Wicked Witch is Dead

**Hello, Yellow Brick Road**

_Summary: Jack pointed to the small cottages, then to the large green city on the horizon. At Daniel's perplexed look, he then removed one of the shoes from the dead woman's feet and held it in the air. It was slender, sparkly and…red._

_Setting: season 8, before the events of 'Reckoning'._

_Pairings: S/J hints_

_Disclaimer: I don't own Stargate SG-1 or the Wizard of Oz. MGM owns both of them._

_A/N: This story has been rattling in my brain for the longest time. I've finally had the chance to write it down. I hope you get the chance to read it and review it._

* * *

"Remind me again why I'm coming on this mission?' General Jack O'Neill asked as the quartet were about to step through the event horizon. 

"Having second thoughts, sir?" asked Sam.

"Not at all, Carter," Jack replied. In fact, he was extremely pleased to be stepping through the gate once more. None of the perks of being promoted to general could possibly equal the opportunities of being a member of SG1. He had missed the time spent with his team sorely.

"Let's move out," said Carter, beaming as, one by one, her team stepped through the gate. General O'Neill ushered Teal'c and Daniel through before him, wanting a second more to watch the Colonel's pride as she led her team. _Her team._

"Let's move out?" he asked, a similar grin to hers beginning to spread on his face. "That's my line."

"Yes sir," Carter grinned back as she stepped through the shimmering blue of the event horizon. Jack chuckled and followed her through.

"Woaw!"

The reunited team looked around them, amazed and surprised by the sight.

"This isn't what the MALP transmitted," Sam mused, not even bothering to look at her team mates. The sight around her was just too…jolly.

The sky was the bluest of blues, only a few white, fluffy clouds splattered here and there. The grass was lush and fresh, cut so carefully that it looked as though each blade was cut individually. Past the cobbled stone path was a small town lined with cottages. The cottages were relatively small and an appetizing smell of cake and pie wafted from their chimneys.

Daniel turned around on the spot, wanting a 360 degree pan of the strange planet. Nothing here made sense. The MALP had shown a deserted ruin, most probably of Mycenaean origin, not a small country town. This place was neither deserted nor in any way Greek, and as pleasant as it seemed, Daniel was filled with disappointment. He turned to look at the gate. Perhaps there had been a malfunction, sending them somewhere entirely random. It had happened before. What he saw as he turned around however, caused him to jump back in surprise and let out a yell of disgust.

"Er, Jack, Sam…" he queried, once his team had noticed his yell. Sam's look of concern was directed by Daniel towards the gate, where half a human body lay.

"Oh, crap," was all Jack could say when he too followed Daniel's gaze to the body.

"She must have been lying through the ring when the gate engaged," Sam said, rushing over to inspect the body.

"That's kinda…"

"Gross, sir?" Sam prompted, receiving a nod of disgust from her CO.

Jack and Sam both inspected the body for a few moments before Jack began to chortle. He looked around him and laughed again, this time a little louder.

"What?" asked Daniel, clearly seeing no humour in the unfortunate situation.

Jack pointed to the small cottages, then to the large green city on the horizon. At Daniel's perplexed look, he then removed one of the shoes from the dead woman's feet and held it in the air. It was slender, sparkly and…

"Red."

Daniel took the shoe and looked over at the green blur of a city. He looked at the cottages and saw, past them, a long and winding road made out of brick. Yellow brick.

"Oh my god," Daniel whispered. Sam furrowed her eyebrows in confusion, and then after a moment's thought gasped, her eyes wide with disbelief. She looked at O'Neill, whose laughter was now becoming quite uncontrollable. She took the red slipper off him and studied it with great scrutiny, but was interrupted by a loud scream of glee.

"She's dead! She's dead!"

A very small old man ran up the pathway toward the gate, followed by a robust woman and a young child.

"The Wicked Witch is dead!"

Before SG1 could even glance at each other, the town erupted into screams of joy and elation.

"Hail Dorothy, the Wicked Witch is dead!!!"

* * *

_Please review!!! Free virtual jello for all reviewers! A special order of BLUE jello for the extra long ones!_


	2. The Impossible Land Of Oz

As the tiny people danced around them, the members of SG1 looked at each other, a mixture of hilarity, confusion and alarm on their faces.

"Carter, care to explain?" Jack whispered, hoping not to distress the dancing midgets.

Sam shook her head and looked over at Daniel for some answers. When he shrugged back at her she huffed and turned back to her CO. "Sir, I have no idea what's going on here," she answered.

"I believe I may be of assistance," Teal'c's voice boomed, even at low volume. "This planet appears to be a replica of an old legend of the Tau'ri. We have in fact, watched this legend on the television several times, O'Neill."

Jack nodded. "Yeah, I gathered, T," he said, casting his mind back on their latest team night, where he had demanded they watch the Wizard of Oz.

Teal'c bowed his head. "Then it would seem we have travelled to the planet Oz," Teal'c deduced, gesturing to the little people, who waved and giggled at the company.

Jack shrugged and grimaced back at them. So, the merry old land of Oz was real, huh? He laughed again. The number of times he had made Oz jokes and only received concerned stares – hah! Now who was right all along?

"It's impossible," Daniel interjected, as though following Jack's very thoughts.

"Obviously not," Jack said, looking around at the scenery. Every part of this place screamed Judy Garland.

"No Jack, this is historically inaccurate," Daniel said, taking a breath. Jack rolled his eyes. Whenever Daniel took large breaths or licked his lips subconsciously before he spoke, it was certain that his next words would be in lecture form and undoubtedly on a subject that Jack cared very little about. And sure enough…

"Humans started migrating from earth thousands of years ago. This story's only 100 years old, Jack. It's not possible for it to have reached here."

Jack shrugged.

"So what is this place?" Sam asked, still inspecting the ruby red slipper in her left hand.

"I have no idea," Daniel replied as three small munchkin children grabbed him by the arms and began to whirl him around in circles.

"Crazy little tykes, aren't they?" Jack said whimsically, before he too was poked by sticky little fingers and urged to join in the dancing. After a few solid minutes of being swung, spun and prodded by unhealthily tiny children, Jack looked over his shoulder to check on his team mates. Sam had taken to twirling two little girls, who were laughing and playing with their dresses, Daniel was attempting to make normal conversation with some of the older residents, who much less than talking back to him, were only bowing and prostrating, and Teal'c still stood where the rest of the group had left him, while child midgets jumped on him, tugged on his pants and tried in vain to touch his staff weapon. Jack laughed again at Teal'c's stiffness and went over to rescue him from the sea of munchkins.

Sam and Daniel took this opportunity to break away also, and headed towards Teal'c with the General. As soon as the quartet had reassembled together, the munchkins raced away, bowing and chatting excitedly about some form of ceremony which was undoubtedly going to take place in their honour.

Jack and Daniel sat down on the grass, glad for the reprieve, while Sam stood, watching the munchkins leave, her eyes twinkling in childlike wonder. Once all the munchkins were out of sight, she too sat down and huddled against her knees.

Noticing her excitement, Jack leaned over to her. "Childhood wish come true, Carter?"

"Something like that, sir," she answered, prompting the same question to him with her eyes.

"Yeah ok, me too," he confessed, smiling. In all his years, this was something he never thought he'd see.

The four companions sat in silence for a minute or so, each pondering what the discovery of this world could mean for them.

"Red," Daniel said, after staring at the slipper that Sam had picked up again.

"Hmm?" Sam asked, holding the shoe closer for Daniel to look at.

"The shoes are red," he repeated thoughtfully.

"Yeah?" Jack asked, giving Daniel an odd look.

"But that's not right," pressed Daniel, looking back from Jack to Sam. "They're supposed to be.."

"Silver," Sam cut in.

"Exactly."

Jack gave Teal'c a hearty shrug which was returned in eyebrow-raising form.

"Whatdya mean they're silver? You have seen Wizard of Oz, right?" he asked, knowing full well that both Sam and Daniel had seen it several times.

"That's just the point, Jack. They're only red in the movie," Daniel said, pointing to the shoe in Sam's hand. Sam nodded. She and Daniel looked at Jack whose expression went blank, as it did quite often.

"There's a book, Jack," Daniel prompted.

"What?" Jack asked, incredulously.

"It was written before the movie," Daniel explained. "And the shoes…"

"Were silver," Sam said, throwing the slipper a few inches in the air.

Jack remained silent, putting together his thoughts. Sam watched him in amusement. She could have sworn she could actually see the wheels turning around in his head.

"You've read it?" he asked her in a quiet, yet somewhat accusatory tone.

"Yes sir."

"And you didn't tell me?" he asked, mock hurt on his face. She grinned, placing the shoe back on the grass.

"Could this story not have been a forgotten legend previous to the novel?" Teal'c asked, breaking his silence. Sam and Jack both turned to Daniel, hopeful curiosity in the eyes of one and playful indifference in the other.

"I doubt it," Said Daniel. "It's considered an American fairy tale. For it to have been around before humans began to migrate away from Earth, it would have had to be present in other cultures. But, I can't think of any stories similar to this one. In fact, this world is a little too similar to the story, or should I say the movie, in the first place. You would think the legend would have been distorted over time, not preserved to every last detail…" he tapered off, realising Jack was no longer listening.

"No, Jack," he said loudly. "Not possible."

"Right," the General said, looking back toward the village. He sighed and gestured to the others to look. Hundreds of munchkins were pouring out of the village with banners and instruments. "Here we go again."

The ceremony raged on for hours, the little munchkins dancing and singing in honour of the four heroes who had killed the Wicked Witch. Jack was very amused to see real representatives of the Lollipop Guild and Lullaby League, but was slightly disappointed that the Lollipop Guild's voices were not quite as surly as those in the movie. Any disappointment he felt however, drained right out of him when the Lullabye League urged them over to the stage. A velvet clad munchkin approached them and Jack nudged Daniel in the side, his childlike excitement getting the better of him.

The munchkin looked around at his people and raised one tiny arm. The crowd fell silent. He opened his mouth to speak, but Jack cut him off.

"Let me guess," he said. "You're the mayor of the munchkin city."

The mayor nodded and waved his other arm to the populace who immediately applauded.

"From the county in the land of Oz?" Jack continued rhythmically, donning the squeaky voice of the mayor in the movie. The mayor looked at him warily and smoothed out his moustache.

"Yes," he said, concerned.

"And...wait for it," Jack teased. "You welcome us most reeeeeeegally." Sam stood on her CO's foot, casting him a reproachful glance. Jack merely grinned back, causing both Sam and Daniel to roll their eyes.

"However O'Neill," Teal'c interrupted, much to the surprise of SG-1. "They shall have to verify it legally." He said, as rhythmically as Jack had. Sam and Daniel snapped their heads towards the Jaffa, who stood stoically, no trace of humour on his face. Jack laughed out loud.

The Mayor, who had realised his whole speech had been said already, smoothed his moustache down once more and twiddled his thumbs. "Well, yes…indeed," he mumbled, calling out for the coroner.

The coroner was the tallest of the munchkins, probably close to 5'7. Sam took a step back as he came through the crowd. He was almost as tall, if not taller than she was. He wore a large black hat and a long black cape. He clicked his fingers and instantly, six munchkin lads hobbled over, carrying the severed body in their arms. Sam looked away and Teal'c raised and eyebrow in distaste. Waiting for the musical interlude which should have taken place at this moment, Jack was very disappointed to learn that the coroner was not going to sing.

"She is dead," was all he said, before bowing to Sam and returning to the crowd.

The mayor stepped up to the podium and cleared his throat again.

"Friends," he began. Jack bounced a little in his spot and recited with him. "This is a day of independence for all munchkins and their descendants. Let the joyous news be spread – the Wicked Old Witch at last is dead!"

An explosion of sound erupted from the audience. Munchkins screamed, laughed, sung and began to play their instruments. SG1 found themselves, once again in the middle of a dancing spree. Teal'c, who had never been one for the culture of dancing, set his jaw and stood still in his place before Jack and Daniel pulled him to the middle of the circle to join in the dancing.


	3. If I Only Had The Nerve

_A/N: I'm back! Thanks to everyone who has read and reviewed the last two chapters. Get ready for the adventure ahead!_

"Please, sit down," the little munchkin Dedi suggested as they entered her tiny house. Noticing that the tall visitors were growing weary of the party, she had offered to give them a small meal and some quiet time in her and her husband's home.

Sam and Daniel sat in the small chairs, Sam grinning girlishly at the extreme use of lace and frills on them. The chairs barely sat ten inches of the ground and were painted a baby pink. The white lace was wound up each leg, meeting on the seat of the chair where a ribboned doyley had been laid. Jack noticed Sam's expression and she suppressed a small giggle, giving her CO an apologetic look. It was not very often that she revealed her inner feminine child, and Jack was heartily amused. He returned her look with one of distaste, scrunching up his face as he flicked the lace. She grinned again. Daniel rolled his eyes at the two and turned his attention to Dedi.

"You'll have to excuse the mess," Dedi said, noticing Daniel's eyes upon her. "Our's is one of the newest houses in town and we haven't quite finished moving in yet," she said, gesturing to the boxes behind the door.

"How long have you lived here?" Daniel asked.

"We moved in two months ago. Mayor Sajiwara, my husband, was given the finest house in all Munchkinland for his efforts, and so it has only been recently finished. He wanted everyone else to be comfortable first," she explained.

"How…mayor-ish of him." Jack shrugged.

"Yes," Dedi agreed with a proud smile. "He has been a good mayor to the people of Munchkinland since his appointment."

"And when was that?" Daniel asked.

"A little over a year ago, when His Wizardness arrived and segregated the land."

"Segregated?" Daniel asked, uneasily.

"His Wizardness?" Jack piped in.

"Yes," said Dedi. "Before the Great and Powerful Oz came to us from beyond the Rainbow, we all lived haphazardly, intermingled with the Winkies, and the people of the Emerald City."

"Beyond the rainbow?" Daniel asked, getting more and more sceptical.

"Yes," Dedi nodded. "Oz himself named the great ring of Munckinland the Rainbow. He said we should be very proud to have an object of such power in our county."

"Indeed," Teal'c agreed with a polite bow of his head.

"But come, you must be hungry," Dedi said. "I shall bring you food and supplies, you have a long journey ahead of you."

As Dedi left the small room, Jack immediately turned to Daniel.

"So?" he asked, expectantly.

"So…what, Jack?"

"What's going on? What is this place?"

"I believe we were correct in our first assumption, O'Neill, that this is indeed the world of Oz." Teal'c said. "However, it does not appear to have always been so."

"We need to see the Wizard," Daniel said.

"Yeah," Jack said, "Wizard."

"Are you thinking a Goa'uld, sir?" Sam asked.

"These people appear free from slavery," Teal'c disagreed. "It is doubtful that the Goa'uld would treat them with as much kindness as appears to be evident."

"True," Sam concurred. "Then what exactly are we dealing with here?"

"Who knows?" Jack asked, throwing his hands in the air.

"The Wizard knows," Daniel said, obviously

"The Wizard," Sam repeated, shaking her head in disbelief at the thought.

"So," Jack said, grinning," I guess we're off to see the Wizard."

"The wonderful Wizard of Oz," Teal'c finished majestically, causing the three others to stare at him once again. There was a somewhat long-winded silence before Jack spoke.

"Ya know, T, we really need to get you a Gameboy…or a…tennis racquet or something,"

"I am already in possession of both of those items, O'Neill," Teal'c said, bowing his head in thanks for the offer.

"I think he means you…ah…need to get a life," Sam suggested apologetically.

"I am aware," Teal'c answered.

At that moment, Dedi re-entered the room, arms laden with small paper bags of food. She set them down on the table.

"You are correct," she said. "You will be journeying to see the Wizard. It has been prophesised for many months."

"Really?" Daniel asked.

"Yes," Dedi said enthusiastically. "In the Wizard's first Ozzian meeting after segregating the land, he prophesised your coming and its implications for our people."

"What did he say?"

"He said that four strangers would come to our land, one with no brains, one with no heart and one with no courage. They would be accompanied by a woman, younger and smaller, but an equal, and a treasure to all Ozzians."

Sam smiled.

"You're not really younger," Daniel chided playfully at the Colonel who just smiled again in response.

"At least I have brains, a heart and courage," Sam replied.

"Yeah, about that," Daniel said to Dedi, "Exactly which one of us is which?"

Dedi smiled shyly and bit her lip. "I do not believe it is my place to tell such a tale."

"Please," asked Sam, "We'd like to know."

"As you wish," she said, with a sweeping hand motion.

Jack and Daniel looked on eagerly as Dedi prepared herself to tell the story. She assumed a very dramatic position, sitting cross-legged on a bench-top, her hands resting on her knees, palms facing the ceiling. Daniel supposed it was a stance adopted by the story tellers of the village. Sam watched as her two male team-mates keenly waited to hear their personas. Turning to Teal'c, she noticed that he too, appeared excited at the thought of discovering his Wizard of Oz identity, though his eternally passive face gave little indication. With a small grin to herself, Sam was sure she could guess which of the characters her team-mates should have been dubbed with. So she too waited eagerly, hoping that she was right.

"The one with no brains is the first to have met our heroine," she said indicating Sam. "He is said to be the leader, though how he leads without the brains of his followers eludes us here in Munchkinland. However, it is said the extent of his other qualities far outweigh any of those which he lacks in intelligence. He is prophesised as the closest to our heroine and the one with hair of the cloud."

The party all turned to look at Jack, who was patting down his hair.

"She means it's grey, Jack," said Daniel.

"I know," Jack said, pretending to flick it behind his ears. "So, I'm the Scarecrow then, huh?"

Sam smiled. The Scarecrow was always her favourite character in the movie, and she had a small feeling that it would be her CO who was given that title.

"Well, I can't say I wasn't expecting that," Jack continued with a shrug and looked back at Dedi, who bowed gracefully at his approval.

"The one with no heart is a strange one, made of different life-force than the others. It has been said that his temperament and expression is similar to that of tin, always constant. Age does not wear his tin form, though he is far older than his companions. It is rumoured that his manufacturer stole his heart and he is fighting against him for it to be returned. He is the marked one, branded by those he seeks to destroy."

"Well, that was…insightful," Sam said, looking at Teal'c who had one eyebrow raised.

"Tough luck, T," Jack said, patting the Jaffa on the back. Teal'c said nothing, looking down at Dedi in what the others supposed was reluctant acceptance.

"Which leaves…"

"The one with no courage," Dedi finished. Daniel's curious smile dropped off his face. He looked quickly at Sam who grinned into her lap, first catching the eye of her C.O who didn't bother to hide his amusement.

"The one with no courage has an interesting tale. He is not a physical being like the others, choosing to battle with words rather than arms. This is said to be because he lacks such skills and relies on the others to defend him."

Daniel's jaw dropped and he stared at the munchkin in disbelief. Sam had lowered her head and closed her eyes, half-offended for Daniel and half-amused.

"He is weak in stature and disabled in vision. He is of the glass eye," she finished.

Daniel scoffed, his eyebrows furrowed. "No compliments?" he asked. Dedi sat still, her eyes now closed.

"I don't believe this," Daniel continued. "Teal'c has no heart, but he still sounded noble! And I'm not a coward," he said.

"Sulking, are we?" Jack asked, gathering his things together.

"No," Daniel said. "It's just…"

"It's just a story," Jack concluded, passing Daniel his P-90.

"You are leaving," Dedi said, opening her eyes.

"Yeah," Jack said. "We're going to see the Wizard."

Dedi nodded slowly. "Then I wish you luck," she said and went into another part of the house.

The team finished gathering the belongings they had set down and left the house. There was a large crowd waiting for them outside, screaming and yelling in jubilation. Upon seeing the SG team the crowd broke into two sections uncovering a long road, made out of painted yellow brick.

"To Oz?" Jack asked, looking back at the team.

"To Oz," they answered, and laughed.

_A/N: And thus, the readers in their masses scribed reviews of great length, and there was much rejoicing!_


	4. Follow the Yellow Brick Road

_Greetings one, greetings all, greetings two, greetings three and greetings to me! _

_Here is the latest installment of 'Hello, Yellow Brick Road.'_

_ I think it is fairly important at this stage of the story to inform you that though it has a humorous and peculiar setting, 'Hello, Yellow Brick Road', isn't a parody or fantasy. The story may take a more serious turn in the not too distant future. So keep in mind that while the hilarity will continue, there will be some meatier matter to deal with too.  
_

_That is all!  
_

Many hours since leaving the small cottage, the four companions could still be seen walking down the yellow brick road.

"A little monotonous, don't ya think," Jack said. The scenery hadn't changed since they had left Munchkinland and Jack was beginning to miss the music and the dancing.

"It shouldn't take too much longer, sir," Sam said, more out of encouragement than any kind of realistic calculation.

"You know what I still don't understand?" Daniel asked. Sam shrugged and Jack stopped himself from blurting out a jibe about Daniel's 'cowardice'. "Why did they kill that woman?" Sam nodded. She too had wondered this, and started to wish she had looked more closely at the body before leaving Munchkinland.

"Perhaps the circumstances were similar to that of the story," Teal'c offered. "The woman may have been a ruler that the Munchkins had overthrown."

"Another question for the Wizard," Daniel concluded and the four walked in silence once more.

The comfortable silence was broken some minutes later when SG-1 came across an intersection in the road.

"Now there's a problem," Jack said, putting on his sunglasses to hide the glare of the slowly setting sun.

"Which way do we go?" Daniel asked, voicing Jack's concern. Sam looked around her, unable to see past the hills that now engulfed them. There was a great hill of forest in front of them, a huge body of water to her right and a raised field to their left.

"I can't see the Emerald City, sir," she said, taking out her compass. Back at Munchkinland she had made note of the bearings, in case they had gotten lost. "The City should be in that direction, sir," she said, pointing across her shoulder. She turned to look in that direction and found it to be right in the middle of the large body of water.

"The road doesn't follow it," Daniel said, eyeing the great river cautiously.

"We should stick to the road," Jack agreed. "It's what Dorothy did," he said with a shrug.

"Then I believe we should continue in that direction," said Teal'c, pointing to the strip of road to their left.

Daniel squinted. "But that's in the opposite direction to the city," he said.

Sam shook her head. "Teal'c's right," she said. Jack looked at her, waiting for a long explanation that he hoped included no form of techno-babble. "We're assuming that this world was meant to be a replica of the one in the movie, right?" she asked, waiting for her team mates to nod before she continued. "If we head in that direction, we should end up in that corn field, where you would usually find…"

"Me!" Jack jumped in, pleased that for once he was following his 2IC's ramblings.

"Exactly, sir," Sam agreed, excited that Jack was following her. "If Dorothy's journey to the Emerald City took her through the corn field where she found the Scarecrow, then it only makes sense that we should go through it too."

She looked around at Daniel, who shrugged and Teal'c who bowed his head in agreement. Jack grinned and led the way.

The cornfield was exactly how it should have been. The field seemed to stretch for miles, the many rows of fresh corn standing tall and straight like an army. There were crow-like-birds hovering over the crops, swooping in and out with bits of the ripped plant fastened between their beaks. The crows congregated in one area, a few metres to SG-1's left and began an aerial attack on the produce. Jack grinned at the simplicity of it all until he heard a loud cry from the direction of the crows. Sam threw him a concerned look and without need for communication, SG-1 swiftly and silently made their way to the area of distress.

Cowering between two rows of corn, crouched a young girl, whimpering in pain as the crows pecked at her head. Daniel began to make loud noises, swishing his arms around her head with a fallen ear of corn, hoping to frighten the crows away. The crows did not even seem to notice, continuing to swoop down upon the small girl, who Sam was now trying to pull out of the line of fire. Daniel's shrill caws and Sam's loud reassurances to the girl merely made the crows angry at the noise and they did not relent in their pursuit, choosing to broaden their target to cover both Sam and Daniel as well. Sam swore when a crow pecked her forearm and Jack ran in to lend a hand.

A loud shot sounded and silence hit the field. The crows immediately retreated, cawing erratically into the distance. Sam, Daniel and Jack turned around to see Teal'c holding a P-90 toward the sky. He bowed his head at the company, who had begun to help the girl to her feet.

"Yeah, that'll do it," said Jack with a look towards the sky. He scratched his head and turned to the girl.

"So," he said, "Killer crows, huh?" The girl looked at him with terrified eyes. She turned to Daniel, who smiled back at her. This only made her cower more. She barely looked at Teal'c without yelping with fear and it was only when she locked eyes with Sam that her face split into a small, shy smile. She grabbed hold of her belt and hid behind her, watching the three men with fear.

"We're not going to hurt you," Daniel said calmly. The girl peered out from behind Sam's waist. "What's your name?" he asked, kindly.

"Rini," she said, her voice barely above a whisper. Daniel smiled and held out hid hand to her.

"Hi Rini," he said. "I'm Daniel."

The small girl looked at his hand for a moment before taking it. She still held onto Sam's belt, so the Colonel covered it with her own hand. Rini blushed.

"I know you," she said, smiling up towards Sam. "You're the one with the ruby red slippers." Sam smiled and nodded. "I've dreamed of meeting you." She sat down at Sam's feet and touched the slipper that was on her foot. The people of Munchkinland had demanded that she wear the slippers on her journey, and Sam, who would much rather have worn her combat boots had reluctantly complied, stuffing the heavy boots into her pack.

Jack came forward and sat down next to the little girl, his eyes wide with a spark that SG-1 had only ever seen when he was around children. Sam smiled warmly and watched him introduce himself to Rini, noting how each little gesture he made was much softer than usual, mirroring the softness on his face that she so rarely saw. Feeling her eyes upon him, Jack looked up at her. Flushing slightly, Sam looked back at the little girl, unable to shake away the butterflies that crept up into her stomach for a fraction of a second.

Daniel coughed loudly and broke the silence, a look of pure amusement on his face. Sam's butterflies flew swiftly away and she kneeled down to inspect Rini's crow-induced wounds.

"How long have you been out here?" she asked, noticing that some of the small scabs on her arms and legs were several days old.

"I come here every day," Rini replied. "I look after the corn and shoo away the _Burungia_."

"_Burungia?_" Sam asked with a look toward Daniel.

"Crows?" he guessed, and cawed loudly again.

Rini giggled and nodded. "Yes, _Burungia_. It has been my job for months now, since scarecrows were outlawed."

Daniel nodded. "When the wizard came?'

"Yes," said the girl, wincing as Sam cleaned one of the larger cuts on her face.

"You mean you've been out here, day after day, getting eaten alive by those birds because the Wizard won't let you have a rag on a stick to shoo them away?" Jack asked, as eloquently as possible.

Rini nodded. "There is only one true Scarecrow now," she said, earnestly. "Only he may frighten away the _Burungia._ Until he comes to Oz, we must do what we can. Do you bring him with you?" she asked Sam, tugging lightly on her BDUs.

Sam gave an amused look to her C.O who, after getting up, whirled the little girl around in his arms. He clapped and struck a dramatic pose, earning a giggle from both Rini and Sam. "The one and only," he said and gave Rini's hair a ruffle. She grinned and led Jack through the fields, the rest of SG-1 following not too far behind.

"I think he might be having a little too much fun," said Daniel, as they followed Jack and Rini.

"I believe this journey through the Stargate may prove to be therapeutic for O'Neill," Teal'c said.

"He misses it," agreed Sam, a smile still tugging at her face.

"Indeed," Teal'c concurred. "It is most rewarding to have him on SG-1 once more," he said.

"Yeah, it is," said Sam, warmly

"How exactly did he get on this mission anyway?" asked Daniel.

"He said that he recognised the architecture from the MALP telemetry," Sam said, sceptically.

"He thought it was Ancient?" Daniel asked, curiously.

"No," said Teal'c. "I believe it was a ruse."

"Oh," said Daniel, crestfallen.

"I think he was avoiding his paperwork," Sam said with a laugh.

Her laugh was cut off by a gasp from Daniel. Looking wildly around, her eyes landed upon a large dais that had been hidden by the surrounding corn. Jack was already on the platform, following Rini to a podium that stood in the centre.

Daniel raced up to meet them, pulling out his camera as he ran. He investigated the podium, making notes in one of the many books now pouring out of his pack. Sam grinned at the sight and went over to meet them, Teal'c not far behind her.

"What have we got?" she asked, kneeling down next to Daniel.

"Well, it looks like Jack wasn't exactly lying when he said he recognised the MALP telemetry," he said, pulling out another book from his pack.

"Ancient?" Sam asked, to which Daniel nodded gingerly. He traced the writing with his fingers and rifled through one of the notebooks.

"Wow," he said, looking up at Jack. "This is…a scarecrow."

Jack looked around him sceptically. "_This_ is a scarecrow?" he asked. "Well, someone sure upgraded the old model."

"Really," assured Daniel. "It says here that the _Burungia_ were introduced to this planet because they were poisonous to something called a _Raksala_, which I think is some kind of beast that was killing the livestock. Eventually, the _Raksala _were wiped out and the _Burungia_ were left. The Ancients created this machine to get rid of the _Burungia_ before they destroyed all of the produce."

"So, it's a crow zapper?" Jack asked, causing Rini to giggle.

Daniel nodded. "It seems the Ancients had the same problem with introduced species that we have."

Rini led SG-1 to the other side of the podium. "The Scarecrow will scare the _Burungia _away," she said, pointing to two small panels on the podium. Jack shrugged and put his hands over them.

Nothing happened.

"Think about getting rid of the birds, Jack," Daniel suggested, whilst scribbling madly in his notebook.

"Ya think?" Jack asked and closed his eyes.

_Dead ducks, dead ducks, dead ducks, _he said over and over in his head. He could feel the panels warming up under his fingers and opened his eyes to see what was happening. The panels had begun to glow and the _Burungia_ were flocking towards the dais. Before their eyes, the birds disappeared.

"That was cool," Jack said, taking his hands away.

"Where'd they go?" Daniel asked.

Jack shrugged. "Who cares?" he asked, jumping off the platform. Rini followed him.

"Thankyou," she said, taking a deep bow. "You have saved me many months of discomfort."

"How did you know what the device did?" asked Sam.

"The prophecy of course," the girl said with a smile. "The Wizard told us that the Scarecrow would come and save us, and he did."

"The Wizard reads Ancient?" Jack directed to Daniel.

Daniel shook his head. "He wouldn't need to. There are other markings here too. I think the villagers must have left them here. It's possible they were taught how to use it."

Rini shook her head back at him in earnest. "No," she said. "The great and powerful Oz drew these markings," she said, pointing to the crude drawings that were scraped around the Ancient writing. "He said that he alone could understand the script of old, but in his benevolence, drew pictures for us so that we too could understand."

"But if it required the Ancient gene to function…"

"Then they've just been waiting for someone to make it work," Daniel said, finishing Sam's sentence.

Teal'c, who had been characteristically silent throughout the event stepped forward.

"Then it would seem that the Wizard is aware of the presence of the Ancient gene in O'Neill," he said.

The four team members looked at each other, concern etched on each of their faces. If the Wizard knew this, then it was fairly safe to say that he knew other things about SG-1 as well.

"Well then, I think it's time we upped the pace a bit, don't ya think?" said Jack, and with a few brief goodbyes, SG-1 left the small girl to continue on their now urgent journey to find the Wizard, whoever the hell he was.


	5. Poppies, poppies!

A/N: Greetings friends! Sorry for the late upload, my life has been stuck inside a tumble dryer for a while. Now it is clean and fresh!

Hope you enjoy; Don't forget to review!!!

* * *

"For the love of god, Jack. Stop humming!"

Sam stifled a laugh as Daniel, for possibly the tenth time in the last hour, yelled at Jack for humming 'We're Off to See the Wizard.'

"Danny, I don't think you understand the irony in all this. We _are _off to see the Wizard," Jack said, taking in a breath to continue his musical jaunt.

"Really? I never would have guessed," said Daniel under his breath.

"Come on Daniel, how often do you get to see a planet that came straight out of a movie? A musical movie, for that matter. Could it get any better?" Jack asked, strolling so joyously that it could almost have been mistaken for skipping.

"Jack, these people have been lied to! They've been taken from their homes, forced to stand out in fields while birds pecked them to death, and there's still that mystery of the dead woman in the gate," Daniel replied, disgustedly.

"Daniel Jackson is correct," Teal'c said. "We still do not know how this land came to be Oz, or what the Wizard knows about the Tau'ri. I believe we must take precautions. This planet may indeed be dangerous."

"Ah, not you too, T?" Jack groaned. "It's the Wizard of freakin' Oz, for crying out loud. How dangerous could it be?"

"Teal'c has a point sir," Sam pointed out. "We have no idea who the Wizard is or what he's capable of." Jack huffed. "I'm not trying to suck the fun out of it sir," Sam continued, knowing exactly what Jack was thinking, "but I do think we have to be careful."

Jack nodded. "Yeah, I know," he sulked. Sam shot Daniel an amused look.

"Sulking, are we?" Daniel asked, cheekily, glad to get back at Jack.

"Shut up, coward," Jack taunted, and Daniel's grin dropped.

As they made their way across the countryside, SG-1 encountered several clues indicating they were going the right way. At one fork in the road they found an axe and several tree stumps. Assuming that they were meant to represent the Tinman, the group chose that path. Again, at another intersection, they saw a dark forest to their right, and knowing that the Lion himself lived in such a forest, took that turn, hoping that these clues were not left to mislead them.

"Ooooh," Jack warbled behind Daniel.

"Jack," said Daniel, "I know that's you."

"Oooooh!!!" he continued.

"Jack. You're not a ghost, you're not even scary and I'm _not_ a coward so I won't be falling for it!" Daniel practically yelled. Jack only smirked in return, causing Daniel to scoff and trade places with Sam. "I'm not standing in front of him if he's going to warble at me the whole way," he moped, casting Jack a scornful glare.

"Why I agreed to bring you on this mission, I'll never know," sighed Sam, shaking her head at her C.O.

"Because I'm the boss and I wanted you to," Jack replied cheerfully.

"Well, I'm the leader of SG-1 _sir_, and seeing as you're tagging along with _my_ team, you can play by my rules," she said, with authority. Jack looked at her warily, but smiled when he caught her eye, knowing that she was kidding…he hoped.

Barely noticing where they were going, Sam and Jack almost ran into Daniel and Teal'c. Looking up in front of them, they realised that the forest was quite a few metres behind them now, leaving a clear view of…

"Poppies," Sam said.

"No way," said Jack. "You saw what happened to Dorothy."

"Well," said Daniel, "we agreed to go the same way she did. Maybe we should…"

"Uh," Jack interrupted, "I don't think so, Daniel."

"Sorry Daniel, I'm with the General. I don't want to risk it," Sam said, with authority.

"Does the yellow brick road not wind around the poppy field?" Teal'c asked with a gesture to the pathway to their left.

"It'll take a while longer to get there, but it'll have to do. I'm not going through that poppy field," said Sam, decidedly. Daniel shrugged and followed her back to the road with the others.

SG-1 were fairly quiet as they walked down the stretch of road. This part of the path was an unknown quantity, and they wanted no surprises. The sun was beginning to set and the team knew that if they didn't make it to the Emerald City soon, they would have to make camp.

"Maybe we should have gone through the poppies," Carter mused, stifling a yawn. They had spent most of the day traipsing down this path that she was heartily sick of yellow.

"Yeah, and been knocked unconscious the moment we set foot there," said Jack, though he too, was biting back a large yawn.

"You don't think we could stop for a rest, do you?" asked Daniel, taking off his glasses and giving his eyes a good rub.

"I believe that would be best," Teal'c agreed. "I feel uncharacteristically fatigued."

"Wait a minute," slurred Carter, "This doesn't…"

"Feel right," Daniel finished.

"Not just the poppies?" Jack asked, almost incoherently.

"No sir."

"Damn."

"Perhaps we should set up camp before we are overcome," said Teal'c.

"Yeah," agreed Sam. Jack could only grunt.

Daniel was already out cold on the road. Jack tried to laugh, but only a wheeze came out.

"General O'Neill, are you unwell?" Teal'c asked.

"Tired," Jack yawned back. "We should get Danny of the road," he said.

Sam attempted to set up camp while Teal'c and Jack moved Daniel off the path and into his swag. When they had finally put him down to rest, they realised Carter had fallen asleep on top of her own half-pitched swag and was drooling slightly. Jack smiled and rolled her off it. Teal'c set up his and O'Neill's swags while Jack properly assembled Carter's. He scooped her up in his arms and put her safely into bed. She moaned lightly as he moved her and he had to stop himself from grinning too wildly. Carter was _cute _when she drooled.

Barely able to stand up again after putting Carter into her swag, Jack staggered over to the one Teal'c had set up for him. He collapsed into it, checking on Teal'c for a moment before finally succumbing to the sweetness of sleep.


	6. Overdose

A/N: I'm back!!! Sorry about the VERY long time between updates. It just so happens that the USB stick I had saved almost the entire story on decided to go for a walk without me and I didn't have the heart (or the memory) to rewrite all the lost chapters. However, needless to say, I found it, and can finally continue to update this story. sighs in relief

Just in case you've lost the train of thought on this story, here is a small piece from the last chapter.

Sam attempted to set up camp while Teal'c and Jack moved Daniel off the path and into his swag. When they had finally put him down to rest, they realised Carter had fallen asleep on top of her own half-pitched swag and was drooling slightly. Jack smiled and rolled her off it. Teal'c set up his and O'Neill's swags while Jack properly assembled Carter's. He scooped her up in his arms and put her safely into bed. She moaned lightly as he moved her and he had to stop himself from grinning too wildly. Carter was _cute _when she drooled.

Barely able to stand up again after putting Carter into her swag, Jack staggered over to the one Teal'c had set up for him. He collapsed into it, checking on Teal'c for a moment before finally succumbing to the sweetness of sleep.

* * *

"Ah crap," Jack swore, as he woke up to an enormous headache. 

"Jack?" called Daniel, from inside his swag. Jack sniggered. Daniel hadn't stayed awake long enough to realise what had happened. "What's going on?"

Jack sniggered again. His head swam. "Urgh," he groaned, getting up and out of swag. Teal'c was already awake and kel'no'reeming under a large tree.

"You ok, T?" Jack asked, and immediately wished he hadn't. His head began to throb. By now Daniel was out of swag and nursing his own head.

"Did I miss something?" he asked.

"Oh yeah," Jack replied. "Seems going around the poppies didn't really help."

"Oh," Daniel grunted. "Where's Sam?"

Jack shrugged. "Still sleeping?" he guessed, smiling slightly as he thought of her drooling the night before.

"What?" asked Daniel at Jack's goofy face, clearly grumpy that he had fallen asleep before the others.

"Nothing," Jack replied, trying to wipe the smile off his face. He looked over to Carter's swag for reassurance. It was open.

"Teal'c," Jack beckoned. He winced. Damn headache. "You seen Carter?"

Teal'c opened his eyes and approached the other two men. "Indeed," he said. "She left several minutes ago to determine the manner by which we were drugged," he said, gesturing down the hill behind her swag. Jack shrugged in reply.

"Carter," he called. "Ca-a-arter!"

No reply.

"Great," he grumbled, carefully making his way down the hill. It was fairly unstable and he almost had to crawl on all fours to stop him from falling. About half way down, he noticed a mass of green sprawled on the ground and squinted. It was Carter.

"Crap," he said, throwing all caution to the wind. He skidded down the hill, dust flying out behind him and hurried to her side. She was unconscious.

He checked her pulse roughly. There was a strong beat. He sighed in relief. In her hand she held a vial full of yellowish dust. Jack looked back toward the hill at the large dust cloud he had created and decided to hold his breath. It seemed Carter had found the sleeping drug. He picked her up, absent mindedly checking for drool. There was none. He frowned and threw her over his shoulder. There was no way he could make it back up that hill with her cradled in his arms like that.

Making sure to hold his breath, Jack made it back up the hill, laying Sam down on the ground.

"Sam," Daniel called after her, racing towards them. "Is she ok?" he asked. Jack nodded, taking the vial out of her hand.

"A bit battered," Jack answered, brushing her hair out of her face. "I think she fell asleep half way down the hill," he said, handing Daniel the vial. "She could at least have waited till she got to the bottom."

Daniel looked at the vial through the bottoms of his glasses. "This is the stuff that made us fall asleep?" he asked. Jack nodded.

"Must be," he said. "I'll clean her up." Jack got his pack and took out his first aid kit. He cleaned the grazes on Sam's face from where she had hit rocks on her way down the hill.

"How long will she be out for?" Daniel asked, still studying the vial.

"Who knows?" Jack answered, patching up the last of her cuts.

"O'Neill," came Teal'c's booming voice from behind them. "We must continue."

"He's right," said Daniel. "The longer we stay here, the more likely we'll fall asleep again."

Jack nodded. "Teal'c," he said. "Would you do the honours?" Teal'c nodded and bent down next to him to pick up Sam. He put her over his shoulder and nodded to Jack. Daniel hastily packed up camp and within a few minutes the team were on their way once more.

"I think we should try the poppy field," Daniel said.

"What don't you understand about _no_?" Jack asked.

"I am in agreement with Daniel Jackson," said Teal'c with a bow of his head. "If we are to stay on our current path we are more than likely to be drugged again. The path through the poppies is faster."

Jack shrugged. "Ok," he said, and led the way towards the field of poppies. "But if I fall asleep…"

The journey through the poppy field was surprisingly pleasant. Though Sam had still not woken, the others marched through the fields, admiring the sight.

"You know, I always liked poppies," Jack said.

"Very historically significant," agreed Daniel. "They've been used as a symbol of remembrance by the countries in the Commonwealth since the end of the First World War to mark the deaths of the soldiers that died in Flander's…"

"Daniel!" interrupted Jack.

Daniel huffed. "Hey," he said. "We're not falling asleep."

"Indeed," said Teal'c.

Daniel grinned. "I was right!" he said,

"Watch it!" Jack snarled.

"What?" asked Daniel. "I was! Whoever created the field obviously meant it to be a red herring. They expected us to go around it, when really we should have gone through it."

"Lucky them," Jack mocked.

A soft groan sounded behind them.

"O'Neill," Teal'c called. "Colonel Carter is stirring." He placed Sam on the bed of poppies.

"Sir," she mumbled, her eyes not yet open.

"Hey Carter," Jack said softly. Sam winced.

"Oh, God…headache," she muttered, opening her eyes slightly. Her vision was blurred and her head was pounding, but she could definitely see the faces of her three companions. She mustered a small smile.

"How long have I been out?" she murmured, trying to stand up. She looked around her and saw a sea of poppies, a great blur of red. "I think I'm going to be sick."

"Stay down there for a minute, Carter," Jack said, his gravely voice calming Sam down a little.

"What's with the…poppies?" she asked.

"Daniel Jackson suggested we change course, to speed the journey," Teal'c said.

"Yeah, apparently, whoever made this Oz thought we would avoid the poppies and instead laced the surrounding path with the sleeping drug," Daniel said, excitedly. "They obviously wanted our experience to be as similar to Dorothy's as possible."

"Yeah, or they thought it would be funny to screw us around," Jack said.

Sam tried to laugh, but her head was aching. She grimaced. "It wasn't this bad before," she wheezed, closing her eyes again.

"There was a lot of yellow stuff on that hill," Jack explained. "I think you might have OD'd."

"Hill?"

"You went for a little field trip this morning," said Jack.

"Do you remember?" Daniel asked.

Sam shook her head. "I woke up. Teal'c was kel'no'reeming. That's it."

The three SG-1 males looked at each other with concern. Memory loss was never a good sign.

"During our conversation, you mentioned your desire to locate the substance which caused our unconsciousness," said Teal'c. Sam nodded. "You then proceeded to journey down the hill with your pack."

Sam nodded again. "Mmm," she said, "I remember."

"Can you get up?" Jack asked. Sam shrugged and tried to sit up. The world around her swam but she able to sit up properly without too much nausea. Jack offered his hand and she took it gratefully, swaying a little as he helped her to her feet.

"Nothing like a hangover without getting drunk first, eh Carter?" he said, grinning.

Sam merely grunted in response.

Now that all four members of SG-1 were finally conscious, they could continue their journey to the Emerald City. Sam was still very pale, but she tried to keep up with the others, determined not to fall behind. Every now and then Jack would complain about his knees and demand that they take a rest. Sam knew he was only complaining to give her a chance to catch up and regain her bearings, for which she was very grateful. She was determined not to appear any weaker than the rest of her team.

"Give me a hand up?" asked Jack at one resting stop, when Sam was looking particularly green.

"Yes sir," she said and gave him her hand. Jack took it but got up of his own accord, using it as an excuse to keep hold of her to stop her swaying. She was beginning to get nauseas again. Knowing full well what he was doing, Sam turned her head towards his and smiled at him, appreciatively. Realising how close their faces had become, she shuddered slightly. Jack felt her quiver under his touch and let go of her hand and waist, watching her as she went faintly red with embarrassment. At least she wasn't green anymore.

Teal'c and Daniel seemed not to have noticed the moment; both were preoccupied with other things. Daniel was drinking out of his canteen and Teal'c was wandering aimlessly through the fields, his back towards them. Maybe he had noticed after all.

Once they had reached the end of the poppy fields, SG-1 were shocked to find that the gates to the Emerald City were nowhere in site. Beyond the large field there was another forest, this one darker than the last.

"You've got to be kidding," Jack cried.

"No sir," Carter sighed, taking out her compass. "We're still going in the right direction."

"It makes no sense," quipped Daniel. "The Emerald City was just beyond the poppy fields in the movie."

"Perhaps we are at a disadvantage due to the lack of interaction with good witches from the north," Teal'c suggested.

Not for the first time, the rest of the team shared a look. Was that Jaffa humour?

"Well campers, best foot forward," Jack said, his voiced laced with fake enthusiasm.

"Getting tired of Oz, sir?" Sam asked.

"Just tired of walking," he replied.

"At least there's no more yellow," Daniel said as they traipsed through the forest, occasionally fighting through, or in Daniel's case, getting hit by stray branches and spider webs.

"Indeed," said Teal'c, his voice conveying his newfound distaste for the colour.

"Shouldn't be too much further," Sam said, cutting back a branch. Her nausea was finally dissipating.

"Ah, son of a…"

"General?" asked Sam, looking behind her. Jack had just been hit by a large branch that Sam had pushed out of her way.

"Nice work, Carter," he said, holding his nose. In any other case, Sam would have been concerned. Now however, whether due to the drug or maybe just the ridiculousness of their whole situation, she laughed. Jack looked at her, stunned, but couldn't help joining her. By now, Daniel had turned around and was practically wetting himself with laughter. Even Teal'c gave a good Jaffa roar.

Their laughter seemed to ease the growing tension considerably. All four companions were concerned about the Wizard and the danger they could be in, as well as growing weary of the tiresome journey and the effects of the sleeping drug. It was a very cathartic moment as they remembered how absurd this whole mission was. They laughed harder.

Then Sam stopped.

"Did you hear that?" she asked. The laughter died down.

"Hear what?" Jack asked, still holding his nose.

"I swear I just heard…" Sam trailed off. In the distance she could hear the sound of metal on metal.

"There it is again," she said. The eerily familiar sound was coming closer.

Daniel's face widened with realisation. "Please don't tell me that's what I think it is."

SG-1 looked around them, each taking a different direction, weapons at the ready.

"Oh my god," Sam whispered, as hundreds of replicators descended towards them.

* * *

I bet you weren't expecting _that_! Please review! 


	7. That rascal, the jitterbug

"What the hell is going on?" Jack roared as the replicators made their way towards them. Barely bothering to aim his P-90 he began to shoot. The other three were not too far behind him.

The replicators however, didn't seem to notice they were being shot at. They were no angrier, as replicators were prone to be when attacked, nor did they change their course at all.

"It's not working!" Carter cried over the noise of the rapid fire. Not a single replicator had been taken down.

"Carter?" Jack yelled.

"I don't know what's going on, sir," Carter shouted, fighting to be heard over the gunshots. "They're not being hit!"

"Fold back!" Jack cried and SG-1 retreated further into the forest, away from the swarm of replicators.

"What the hell was that?" Jack asked, once they were sure they had gained some distance from the replicators.

"I don't know, sir," said Carter, puffing. "Our bullets were going right through them." Her breathing was shallow and she had begun to turn green again.

"That's impossible," said Daniel. "How can they be immune to guns?"

"Colonel Carter is correct, Daniel Jackson," Teal'c said. "Our projectile weapons appear to be ineffective."

"That's just not possible," Sam argued. "How could they make themselves untouchable?"

"They made themselves immune from the disruptor, didn't they?" Jack asked.

"Yes, but sir, that's different," Sam argued.

"It would explain a lot though," Daniel mused.

"What?" asked Jack

"Well, it explains how Oz got here," said Daniel, looking knowingly at Sam,

"Oh my god," she said. "My double."

Daniel nodded.

"That would explain everything; how the story of Oz got to be here, why they were waiting for the four of us, how they knew General O'Neill could power Ancient weaponry…"

"She wouldn't have cared about Rini getting hurt either. Or that woman in the gate."

"Yeah, but why the charade?" asked Jack. "If she wanted to kill us, why doesn't she just kill us?"

"Because she wants the challenge. The game. She wants to watch us figure it all out."

"However, this does not explain how these replicators have become invincible," said Teal'c.

"True," Sam replied. "That just doesn't make sense."

"Hey…Repli…Carter!" yelled Jack to nothing in particular. "We know you're out there! Get your metal ass down here and tell us what the hell's going on!"

"Do you really think that's going to work sir?" asked Sam, disbelievingly.

"RepliCarter?" Daniel seconded.

Jack shrugged. "It has a certain ring to it, don't you think? RepliCarter…"

"Colonel Carter," Teal'c announced. "I believe the replicators are heading this way."

"Here we go again," sighed Jack.

"What are we going to do?" asked Daniel.

Sam shook her head. "I have no idea!"

SG-1 took up evasive positions behind trees as the replicator army approached. Sam shot a round towards them. Not a single replicator moved out of line.

"Damn," she yelled. "It's like they don't even know we're here!"

"Just shoot!" overrode Jack and began madly firing his weapon. SG-1 followed suit.

"Not working, sir!" Sam yelled.

"Keep shooting!" he cried, not knowing anything else to do.

The completely one-sided battle continued for several minutes before Sam keeled over.

"Colonel Carter!" Teal'c yelled, being the first to notice her drop.

"Man down!" Jack called out. He had to get to her. "Cease fire!" he called again. Their shooting wasn't doing any good, anyway.

"Carter," he cried hoarsely, once he had gotten to her. "Carter!" he yelled again when she didn't stir. He checked her pulse. It was regular, but weaker than before. He slapped her lightly on the face. "Come on, Colonel!" he growled.

"How is she?" Daniel asked, racing towards them.

"Out cold again," Jack answered. He ripped open her vest, looking for any trace of a wound. There was none. "Carter!" he yelled. "Open your eyes, that's an order!"

Daniel opened his canteen and poured water on her face. Still nothing.

Teal'c stood in front of them all, watching the replicators as they passed. Not a single bug seemed to notice they were there, let alone that they were trying to kill them. Teal'c raised an eyebrow. He shot his P-90 right at the nearest replicator. The bullets flew straight through it and into the ground. With a quick look towards Colonel Carter, he left the group and approached the replicators.

"Carter!" Jack yelled again.

"Jack, I don't think she's going to wake up this time."

"Daniel, don't!" Jack roared and bent over Sam so that his face was inches away from hers.

"Wake up, Colonel," Jack said quietly into her ear. 'You're just asleep. Wake up!"

Nothing.

"Sam, wake up," he tried again, "Samantha!"

"Sir?" came a soft voice from beneath him.

"Carter?" he whispered back, hoarsely.

Sam opened her eyes and looked up at him. "Not again?" she asked, with an attempt at a smile. The movement made her feel violently ill and she vomited onto the ground, next to her. "Sorry sir," she said, closing her eyes again.

"Carter!" Jack called out. "Don't go back to sleep! Carter!"

"Too tired, sir," she answered. Her head began to swim and she lost consciousness again.

_There were colours around her. More colours than she even knew existed. She was lying on the yellow brick road, the red from her slippers almost blinding her with brightness. The Scarecrow came around a corner that wasn't there before, followed by the Tinman and the Lion. They were singing to her, but she couldn't quite make out the words._

_The sky grew dark and she could see a small figure flying towards her. Her replicator double jumped gracefully off a broomstick, landing by her side. She smiled._

_"Wake up Carter!" the Scarecrow said, his voice pounding in her ears. "Sam!" he yelled._

_The replicator pushed him out of the road and stood face to face with her. "I'll get you, my pretty; and your little dog too," she said with a grin. Her hand moulded into metallic form and she thrust it into Sam's head. She cried out in pain, but found she had no voice. All she could hear was her replicator double, taunting her for her stupidity, and the booming voice of the Scarecrow in her head. _Carter, Carter_!, it yelled._

There was a loud blast and Sam was back in the forest, sweat dripping down her face. She was shivering uncontrollably and she vomited again. She heard General O'Neill soothing her, his voice soft in her ear, before he yelled to Teal'c, asking him what the hell just happened.

Because, suddenly, everything was quiet again.

Sam ignored her nausea and sat up to look around.

The replicators were gone.

* * *

_please review _


	8. Out of the Woods

_A/N: Hi everyone! Thank you to all of you who have stuck it out so far! Your reviews have been truly appreciated! For those of you who generally don't review stories, pr haven't yet, please try and take the time to leave a little message, they are very motivating and just plain nice to read!  
_

_Anyway, hope you enjoy!_

* * *

Teal'c stood stoically, his staff-weapon still pointing at his target.

"Teal'c, what just happened?" Daniel asked, standing up from his position over Sam.

Teal'c lowered his weapon and turned to Daniel. "The replicators have been eliminated," he said.

Daniel looked around him. "How?" he asked.

"It was a hologram," he said.

"What?" hollered Jack in utter disbelief, from Carter's side. A hologram? They had wasted precious time and ammo on a hologram? Not to mention possibly the last of Carter's strength? Jack was furious, but couldn't help letting out a sigh of relief at the same time. They were out of danger.

"Of course," Daniel said. "That's why we couldn't shoot them. They weren't actually there."

"Indeed," Teal'c replied.

Daniel grinned. "Thank god for that," he said. "That would have been…well…"

"Terrible," came a small voice from the ground next to him.

"Sam," he said and kneeled back next to her. Jack was wiping the sweat of her face with his sleeve.

"Hey Daniel," she said as he felt her head for a temperature. "I can assure you, I have a fever," she said with a weak laugh.

"You were shaking, and thrashing all over the place," he said.

"Fever will do that to you," Sam said. "Goes great with the hallucinations," she said, as casually as possible. From the look her CO gave her, she wished she had kept it to herself. He would be worried about her for the rest of the trip.

"Hallucinations?" Jack asked. He had remained silent until now, focusing all his attention on watching Sam. His voice was almost cracking with concern.

"Yeah. And you were there, and you were there, and you I've never seen before," she said with a weak grin, trying to break the ice a little. It always unnerved her when Jack got too concerned. He always got that look in his eye that made her very uncomfortable. It thrilled her, but made her very uncomfortable.

Jack's face broke into a smile. "Good to have you back, Dorothy," he said, endearingly.

"So Teal'c," Sam said, the strength in her voice covering just how weak she really felt. "How did you know?"

"It appeared unlikely that the replicators had in fact made themselves immune to your weapons," he said. "Upon further inspection it became apparent that the sound was not emanating from the replicators themselves but from the tree in front of me. My staff weapon proved effective in _deactivating _it,"

"Good work," said Jack. Teal'c bowed his head in welcome.

"Teal'c, is there anything left of the device that…" Sam took in a sharp breath. "Sorry," she said, as Jack held her back to steady her.

Teal'c bowed his head again and retrieved a small, ball-shaped device from the scorched tree.

"Interesting," Sam said, her bloodshot eyes lighting up with a spark that only her doohickeys ever saw. She fiddled with it, taking a screwdriver out of her pack, disassembling it, reassembling it, cleaning it and trying to make it work again.

"That should do it," she said, placing the ball on the ground. She looked up at Jack, asking permission to turn it back on.

"Not till you've had something to eat. You haven't exactly kept anything down," he said. Sam nodded and rummaged through her pack, taking out the supplies that Dedi had given them.

Curious, Jack, Daniel and Teal'c removed their supplies from their own packs. Dedi had packed them several buns as well as a strange bottle of what looked like water that stayed freezing cold even with no insulation. Sam put it to her nose and sniffed. It smelt sweet like a flower or tree sap. She had long since run out of water from her canteen; Jack had used most of it in an attempt to cool her fever. So, with another sniff of the liquid, she shrugged and took a sip, the fluid burning as it slid down her throat. She coughed and spluttered, but noticed that already, her nausea was beginning to lift. She looked inquisitively at the bottle and took another swig. Her eyesight became clearer and she could look towards the light without receiving stabbing pains in her head.

"Sir," she said, looking over to Jack, who was hungrily feasting on a bread roll. "Try the juice," she said, taking in another mouthful. Jack shrugged and took a swig out of his own bottle. He retched.

"That's the most disgusting thing I've ever tasted," he spluttered. "Good though," he added, when he noticed how much more awake he was. "Hey Danny," he called. "Try the brew. It's even stronger than your coffee!"

Now that her strength was closer to normal and her stomach was full, Sam wasted no time in getting back to her newest doohickey. As soon as she had finished eating, she picked up the ball again and studied it, pressing buttons every so often. Daniel was busy trying to find out what the mysterious drink was, so that he could take it back to Earth and make a _lot _more. Jack was absent mindedly watching Carter as she worked, and Teal'c as usual, was watching them all.

"Got it," Sam said, and pushed a button on the ball. There was a low humming sound and she put it on the ground in front of her. A large replicator army appeared around them, their metallic legs squeaking as they marched. Jack sidestepped as a replicator walked through his legs.

"That's just wrong," he said, batting his legs down. "Damn bugs!"

"I am yet to understand the significance of this device," Teal'c said, picking up the ball so that the replicators marched through the air instead.

"Maybe they wanted to scare us off," said Daniel.

"Or render us out of ammunition," Teal'c suggested.

"They," Sam mused.

"Right," Daniel caught on. "I guess we're back to square one on that."

"Not RepliCarter?" Jack asked.

"I don't think so, sir," Sam answered. "There'd be no point in using a hologram."

Teal'c held the ball to his ear and frowned. "There are other sounds emanating from this device," he said.

"What?" asked Sam as Teal'c gave it back to her. She held it up to her own ear. It was music. Familiar music, at that. She passed the ball over to Jack. He grasped it to his ear and bopped along with the music.

"Catchy," he said.

"Do you recognize it, sir?" Sam asked. Jack shook his head. Sam frowned. She was sure she had heard it before. She held it back up to her ear and listened again. Suddenly she realized where she had heard it.

She groaned.

"What?" Daniel asked, as she handed the ball over to him.

"Jitterbug," she said, rolling her eyes.

Jack frowned. "As in the 'Wake me up before you go go' Jitterbug?" Jack asked.

"No," said Sam, "of course not. The song, 'Jitterbug'. It's from the Wizard of Oz."

"No it isn't."

"Yes it is."

"I would know, Carter,"

"Colonel Carter is correct, O'Neill," Teal'c said. "Jitterbug is indeed a piece from the musical, the Wizard of Oz. It is in the deleted scenes," he said.

Sam grinned. "That's right. I forgot it wasn't in the movie."

"Care to explain, Carter?" asked Jack.

"Yes sir," said Sam. "The jitterbug was a dancing…bug in the Wizard of Oz. The Wicked Witch used it to tire out Dorothy so that her flying monkeys could steal her, sir," she said.

"Cool," said Jack.

Daniel groaned. "I get it. The replicators were supposed to be the jitterbugs?" Sam nodded. "And that was supposed to be funny?"

"Well, obviously the Wizard has a sense of humour rivaling Teal'c's," Jack answered. "Is that in the book too?" he asked Sam, mockingly.

"Well, no sir. Stage musical."

"You've seen that?" he asked, excitedly.

"We did it in high school, sir," Sam replied, smiling as she watched the grin grow on her commanding officer's face.

"Are you serious?" Jack asked. "Who were you? Please tell me you were Dorothy," he goaded.

"I wasn't in it sir," she said incredulously. Jack looked clearly disappointed. Sam smiled slightly. Obviously the General had never heard her sing before. "I helped make the flying monkeys though," she said, hopefully.

"Did they fly?" Daniel pitched in.

"I wasn't the captain of the robotics club for nothing," she grinned, taking back the ball and putting it in her pack. She was amazed at how well she felt. Her headache hadn't completely subsided and she was more than a little queasy, but the worst of her nausea had lifted and she felt no worse than she did after a fairly hefty team-night. With a heave, she put her pack and followed Teal'c, who was leading onward through the forest.

"How long have I known you?" called Jack as he caught up to her.

"Eight years, sir," she answered, frowning in confusion.

"And how many years have I not seen a flying monkey under my Christmas tree?"

"It won't be nine, sir," she said, with a warm smile. He grinned back at her.

Not for the first time on the mission, Sam and Jack ran straight into Teal'c and Daniel who had stopped abruptly.

"De ja vu," Jack muttered as he looked behind him to see the forest had ended several metres before. Just how long had he been grinning at Carter, anyway?

Sam flushed a little, realizing how long she had been staring at him. Again, Daniel and Teal'c didn't seem to have noticed. She shook her head and snapped back to reality. Just what was in that miracle juice, anyway?

"What have we got, Danny boy?" Jack asked. Daniel looked at Jack wildly, gesturing to the huge green wall in front of them. Obviously, Jack had been paying absolutely no attention.

"The gates to the Emerald City," he said grandly.

Jack and Sam looked up in front of them. The wall was so high that they could barely see the top.

"It's beautiful," Sam whispered, and stroked the wall with her finger. She had never seen anything so iridescently shiny before. Had she not known how awake she was, she would have sworn she was hallucinating again. "Sir," she invited, as Jack stood by her side. He gave his team a childish grin and rapped on the gates with his knuckles. The sound boomed as though they were in a tight corridor.

From inside the gates, trumpets sounded. With a loud creak, the gates swung open, revealing a huge city of green. A grand fanfare played as SG-1 stepped through the gates and into the strange city. The whole city sprang to life, children danced, women sang out in chorus and confetti was being hurled over balconies.

Dorothy and her team had finally made it to the Emerald City.

* * *

_Please review _


	9. So you wanted to meet the Wizard?

_A/N: Welcome back to Oz. I hope you have all had a pleasant weekend, and are looking forward to reading this chapter. I know I'm looking forward to reading your feedback...if you didn't get that little hint, PLEASE REVIEW_

_I found this chapter quite difficult to write. So many short encounters. I thought it would be overkill to write the first part of this chapter in too much detail, so it was a little bumpy and jerky to write. We'll see how it reads...when you send me your reviews and tell me grins_

_ On with the show!  
_

* * *

Once again, SG-1 found themselves in the middle of a dancing frenzy. The citizens of the Emerald City weaved in and out, throwing themselves on SG-1 as they passed.

"Well, these folks sure know how to throw a party," Jack joked, as he was passed yet another goblet of wine.

"Indeed, they celebrate with much fervour," said Teal'c, distastefully.

"Not your style, T?" Jack asked.

"No."

Sam chuckled at Teal'c displeasure and patted him on the back. "Don't worry, Teal'c," she said. "At least these guys are closer to your height."

Barely able to finish her sentence, Sam was whisked away by a group of children, intent on showing her the moves to the _Dansawarna_, a highly energetic dance that involved very difficult partner work.

Teal'c was not left alone for long. A swarm of women raced toward him, giggling and shouting out to him.

Daniel, of course, was already into the swing of things, chatting to the locals and taking in as much of the culture as possible.

From one of the towers above them, a large bell sounded. The Ozzians fell silent for a few moments, then cheered, their voices ringing out louder than the bell itself.

"What's going on?" Jack asked, once he had swerved his way through the crowd to find Daniel.

"The bell of Oz has sounded," cheered a merrily drunk woman, who was holding tightly to Daniel's waist. "You have been allowed an audience with the Wizard!"

"We have?" Jack asked, staring amusedly at the woman's tight grip on Daniel. Daniel grimaced back.

"Yes," the woman answered. "You have been given permission to look upon his hallowed face. You are blessed travelers, indeed," she said, throwing her hands up in the air. She twirled around and was caught by a fellow citizen who whisked her away onto the dance floor.

Daniel sighed in relief and shook his head. "We should find the others," he said.

* * *

Sam and Teal'c had already found each other and were being hurried into one of the buildings by a group of young women.

"Where are you taking us?" asked Sam, trying to sound as polite as possible.

"You cannot look like that if you are to meet the Wizard," the young girl next to her scolded, trying to pull off her vest. "We can make you look exquisite!" she squealed, while the girls around her giggled.

"No thanks," Sam said, fighting off the many woman who were trying to undress her. She looked over to Teal'c, who seemed to be having a similar dilemma.

"You must not offend his Wizardness by dressing in such an ugly fashion in his presence," one of the ladies said, trying to remove Sam's boots.

"Stop," she yelled. "Really, that's nice of you, but I'll risk it."

The ladies looked at each other in disbelief.

"At least let us fix your hair," said one.

"And your face," said another. "There are scratches and bruises everywhere!"

"You must bathe!" called one. "You are too dirty for the likes of the Wizard."

"Ok, ok," Sam conceded, as they continued to tug at her hair and clothing. She thought briefly of Daniel. What would he do in this situation? She sighed, knowing that he would allow the locals to fulfill whatever cultural requirements were insisted upon. With a mental roll of her eyes, she conceded. "I'll bathe, if it will stop you from pulling at me!"

The women beamed and took her into a wash room.

Teal'c still stood in the doorway. The women were trying and failing to pull him into one of the salon seats.

"I will bathe, if you wish," he forfeited, heartily tired of being shrieked at. He too was hurried into a wash room, next to the one Sam was in.

By the time the women had found Jack and Daniel, it was too late for Teal'c and Sam. Both had been in the washroom for over ten minutes and had no chance of getting out of the longest primping and preening session they would ever have to endure in their lives. Before Jack and Daniel could even argue, they too were hustled into washrooms to bathe.

* * *

Almost an hour later, Jack and Daniel were finally allowed to return to the main room of the salon. They smelt altogether too much like flowers, and Jack kept running his hand down his cheek. Who knew skin could feel that smooth?

"Teal'c!" he exclaimed. "They got you too?" Teal'c nodded, the fire in his eyes showing just how much he _enjoyed_ the experience. "Not your cup of tea either, huh?" he asked.

Teal'c raised an eyebrow. "No," was all he said.

"You know, I found it all quite relaxing," said Daniel, who was looking very much rejuvenated.

"You would," Jack smirked.

"I've never been this clean," Daniel continued. "And my hair's so soft. I thought women were the only ones who could have hair as soft as this."

Jack rolled his eyes. It was obvious that the General thought being this clean was a problem. "So where's Carter?" he asked.

Carter was having problems of her own. The ladies who were now doing her hair and makeup were refusing to give her back her BDUs.

"You must not wear those in front of the Wizard," they had all said. "You will look like a man!"

Sam sighed, unable to stand the preening any longer. "I don't care. I need my clothes back." All thoughts of _What Would Daniel Do? _were long gone.

"You can have them back after you see the Wizard," said one. She smiled so innocently and reassuringly that Sam agreed. She couldn't say no to a face like that. That, and the fact that she was getting so frustrated that her nausea was returning.

"Fine," she said. "What am I supposed to wear?"

The ladies squealed in delight and raced away, coming back mere seconds later with an all-too-familiar blue and white chequered dress.

"I should have guessed," she said, rolling her eyes.

Sam dressed herself and looked in the full-length mirror. She looked positively ridiculous. She had put her ruby red slippers back on and laughed at her reflection. At least her hair was too short to be braided.

When she stepped back into the main room, it was to the sound of applause. The women who had, minutes ago, been tugging at her and bossing her around were curtseying and well-wishing her. She looked around for her team mates, finally finding them sitting at a booth in the corner of the room. She approached them, her face red with embarrassment.

"Wow Sam, they really cleaned you up," Daniel laughed. "What happened to your BDUs?"

"They wouldn't let me wear them," she said. "Apparently I look too much like a man," she said.

Teal'c bowed his head. "You look very feminine," Teal'c complimented. Sam smiled.

"Thanks Teal'c," she said.

Before Teal'c could even bow his head again in welcome, a young boy raced into the salon.

"The Wizard, The Wizard!" he cried, coming to a halt in front of SG-1. "The Wizard will see you now!" Applause erupted through the salon again. Sam shrugged and gestured for her team to move out.

"After you, Dorothy," Jack said, his eyes twinkling. Sam felt herself blush. "You know, your face is starting to match your slippers," Jack said with a grin. That only made Sam turn even redder. Jack chuckled to himself. Sam dressed as Dorothy, eh? This was turning into quite a trip. He made a mental note to cross that off his list of fantasies.

"Hurry up! The Wizard, the Wizard," the small boy yelled back at them, and led the team away to meet their fate.

* * *

"WHO ARE YOU?"

SG-1 stood in a massive room, green on all sides. Huge tapestries flanked the walls and gold pillars circled the podium on which they stood, fire scorching from the basins atop each one. Daniel looked around him. This room was one big cultural contradiction. The pillars were of Roman style, yet the tapestries were clearly inspired by medieval Europe. There was a statue in one of the corners that was clearly Roman, but the curtains behind it looked like intricately designed batik. He furrowed his eyebrows in confusion and turned back to face the gigantic machine that was the Wizard.

"WHO ARE YOU?" the voice repeated. SG-1 stared up at the huge mechanical head in front of them. Jack rolled his eyes.

"Hey big guy," he called. "Why don't you just come out of the broom closet, already. We know you're not really the Wizard."

"WHO DARES QUESTION ME?" boomed the amplified voice, as flames rose from two large basins either side of his head.

"You know, I wouldn't be surprised if those buggo eyes glowed right now," Jack muttered. Daniel grinned.

"Excuse me," he said, taking a step forward. "I'm Daniel Jackson, and these are my team-mates..."

"I KNOW WHO YOU ARE, SG-1," the 'Wizard' roared. "I AM THE GREAT AND POWERFUL OZ! I KNOW ALL!"

"Why'd he ask then?" grumbled Daniel as he took a step back.

"Yeah?" goaded Jack. "How many fingers and I holding up?" he asked, putting his hands behind his back. Teal'c looked behind Jack's back and raised and eyebrow. Jack was clearly giving the Wizard the finger.

"I WILL NOT STAND THIS IMPUDENCE! SILENCE!!!"

The guards standing at the door were shaking in their boots. They shrunk into their boots as the gigantic head turned towards them.

"BE GONE!" he yelled to the frightened guards. "I WILL DEAL WITH THE STRANGERS!!!"

The guards bowed and practically ran from the room. The great doors slammed shut and the Wizard began to laugh, his voice bouncing off the high walls. The mechanical head revolved loudly, to reveal a man sitting on the inside of the great structure.

Jack swore.

"Maybourne?"

* * *

_Ha ha! Got you again! _


	10. The Wizard and I

A/N: I'm back! Firstly, a huge apology for keeping you waiting. I lost all my chapters and only just recovered them. (thankfully)

I hope you all enjoy the chapters to come, thank you for sticking with me and continuing to follow Hello, Yellow Brick Road.

_This chapter is dedicated to Mara - Thanks for making sure I found what I was looking for!_

* * *

Harry Maybourne grinned and crossed his legs.

"I've been expecting you," he said.

"Clearly," Daniel said under his breath. The others stayed silent. They were too shocked. "Of all the things I was expecting…"

"This was _so_ not on the top of the list!" Jack finished. "Care to explain yourself, Maybourne?"

Harry's smile dropped as he realised his guests did not find the whole situation as humorous as he had planned. "Maybe we should adjourn to the Feasting Hall."

SG-1 followed Maybourne into the large hall which was adorned with huge portraits of gods, who they assumed were supposed to represent the Wizard.

"Please, take a seat," Maybourne said, pulling out a chair for Sam. "I see I estimated your measurements perfectly, Colonel," he said with a glance at her dress. She glared back at him.

As the team sat down, the room filled with servants, all dressed in elaborate green gowns and tuxedos. They carried all sorts of delicious smelling meals on their trays, twirling around each other in a complicated dance. They spun in and out of each other so quickly that it made Daniel dizzy. Finally, they set down the large silver trays onto the table, bowed again, and literally leaped out of the room.

"Ah, privacy," said Maybourne serenely. Sam, Daniel, Jack and Teal'c all glared at him, their expressions clearly showing just how appalled they were.

"Maybourne…" Jack started, not really sure which question was most important to ask. "What the hell?"

Maybourne smiled again. "I take it you're surprised to find me here," he said, pleasantly.

"I don't think _surprised _is exactly the right word," Sam said.

"What happened to being King Whatever the first?" Jack asked.

"Oh, I still am," Harry assured. "My permanent residence is with my people. I just come to Oz every other day, make a new decree, check on construction," he said, as though it was something that every average person did on a daily basis.

"I can't believe I thought you'd changed," said Daniel, more to himself than to Maybourne.

"Changed? Of course I've changed, Dr Jackson," he said. "These people have taught me so much. I love them like they're my family."

"Which is why you completely ruined their infrastructure, took them from their homes, put them in danger and murdered them," Daniel said, his eyebrows furrowed in anger.

"Murdered?" Maybourne asked. "I never murdered anyone. And for your information, these people didn't have an infrastructure."

"Why did you not tell us of this place when we last encountered you?" Teal'c asked.

"It was a surprise. You did get it, right? This is Oz," he said, gesturing around him. "Isn't it wonderful?"

"Yeah, the excitement's worn off just a bit," Sam snapped, not forgetting how sick she had been.

"Are you telling us that you changed everything about this world just to_surprise_ us?" Daniel asked.

"Well, Jack mostly," Harry answered fondly. "But sure, if you guys got a kick out of it too…"

"Do you realize what you're saying? What you've done?" Daniel asked. "You said you felt terrible about leading your people on, about lying to them, but you're doing exactly the same thing."

"Yes, and like my people, the Ozzians have benefited from my knowledge of irrigation, construction and law," he shot back.

"That doesn't give you the right to…"

"Pipe down, Daniel," Jack said, touching Daniel lightly on the arm. Daniel huffed and looked angrily at Jack. "Hey, don't look at me, I agree with you. But…let's just keep this civil for now, ok?" he asked.

"What were the circumstances of this planet before you arrived?" Teal'c asked.

"It was a mess," Maybourne said. "They'd been ravaged by the Goa'uld. Their towns were completely destroyed and their leaders were killed for showing disrespect to their Gods. But that was long before I got here. They never picked themselves back up again. By the time I arrived, there were riots in what was left of the streets, people were killing each other for a loaf of bread. It was ridiculous."

"So what made you stay?"

"They needed help. I could provide it."

Maybourne took the opportunity to hack into a large leg of meat, not looking up at any of his guests.

"That's a load of crap, Maybourne," Jack said. "Come on, what did they have? Naqudah? Lots of…wives?"

"Or a repository of Ancient artefacts?" Daniel asked.

Maybourned raised his eyebrows and smiled wryly. "I take it you found the device out in the corn fields," he said.

"The crow zapper," Jack confirmed.

Maybourne nodded. "It's true. I've found several Ancient devices during my time here," he said.

"Which is why you wanted us to come here," deduced Sam.

"Like I said last time we met, I'm no Dr Jackson when it comes to deciphering Ancient texts. I just thought you might like a bit of an adventure when you finally got here," he said, clearly proud of his hand in the transformation of this planet into Oz.

"And a great adventure it was," said Jack, sarcastically.

"Not to your liking, Jack?" Harry asked. "I find that hard to believe."

"Oh, it started out just great," said Jack. "Dancing midgets and all. But trust me, Maybourne, the backside of this little jaunt through your Merry Old Land of Wacko wasn't as dandy as you'd expect," he said.

"What?" asked Harry.

"What substance did you use around the poppy fields?" Sam asked.

"Oh, you liked that?" Maybourne asked. "I tricked you, didn't I?"

"What was it?"

"Powdered root of the _Asoka_ plant," he said. "Practically harmless when ingested. I bet it knocked you out pretty well though, right?"

"Oh yeah," Sam said. "I suppose it's poisonous?"

"Only after prolonged contact with the eyes or broken skin," he said. "It needs direct and immediate contact to the blood stream to actually…oh no, you didn't…"

"She did," Jack said. "Will it do her any damage?"

"Not for the long term," Maybourne said. "Although, it is known to be quite a powerful hallucinogen," he said hopefully to Sam.

She nodded. "It was one wild trip, Maybourne," she said, disgustedly. Harry looked around at the other three members of SG-1, all of whom were glaring daggers at him.

He chukled nervously. "So," he said. "I suppose you'll be wanting to see those Ancient artefacts, right?" he asked.


	11. Which old Witch?

Chapter 11

A/N: Happy Valenship to everyone at Gateworld! I've added an extra snippet just for you!

* * *

"This is incredible!" Daniel exclaimed. In all his years going on off world missions, he had never seen so much Ancient writing, let alone all in the one place. Carter too, was stunned by the complexity of the few pieces of technology around her. Jack glanced at his two team mates and shook his head. "Kid in a candy store," he muttered.

Sam, hearing him gave him a mocking glare which he returned with a wide grin.

"Did you have something to say, sir?" she teased.

"Not at all, Dorothy," he replied, his eyes as intent on her as hers were on the room full of doohickeys.

"So, what do you think?" Harry asked, showing off his hoard. "Jack!"

Jack shook his head back into the realm of non-fantasy. "What?

"Worth the trip?"

"Oh, I don't know about that, Maybourne," Jack said, wandering around the cavern.

"How'd you find this place, anyway?" Carter asked, inspecting the control panel on one of the devices.

"Easy," Harry said, "Simple town, remember? I just asked the villagers if there were any places they avoided. They said there was a cavern just outside the Emerald City that no one had entered in many generations."

"Uh oh," Daniel said, tracing one of the walls of the cavern with his finger.

"Daniel?" asked Jack. Daniel never 'uh oh'ed for no reason.

"Maybourne," Daniel said, turning to the 'Wizard.' "Just how long ago were these people ravaged by the Goa'uld?"

Maybourne shrugged. "Not sure. A century ago?" he guessed. "They never kept written records after the attack, so I could only guess. None of the Ozzians were alive for the attack, so it was a generation ago, at the least."

"Why do you ask, Daniel Jackson?" asked Teal'c.

"Because I think the 'Wizard' is going to need his hot air balloon fairly soon," Daniel explained.

"What?" asked Harry.

Daniel sighed. "Did you know that there are other writings in here than Ancient?" Daniel asked.

"Of course," he answered. "There's a wall of Goa'uld hieroglyphs over there," he said, pointing to a wall. "And some other stuff around there that I couldn't translate," he said, pointing to the wall Daniel was currently studying.

"It's a variant of Malaysian or even possibly Indonesian," Daniel said. "Which of course, explains the Ozzian vocabulary. _Asoka _is the name of an Indonesian flower. _Burungia_ is fairly close to the Indonesian word for bird. Ozzian names, Dedi, Rini, Sajiwara, they're all South East Asian."

"Is there a point to this, Daniel?" Jack asked; he had stopped listening a while ago.

"Yes Jack," he said excitedly. "This wall talks of a rebellion against the Goa'uld. It isn't quite clear who ruled here. I think whatever Goa'uld was here first discovered the Ancient artifacts and was too egotistical to keep it a secret. Dozens of System Lords have battled over this planet. Apophis, Sokar, the Greek Goddess Hera, Yu..."

"Me?" asked Harry

"Uh!" Jack quacked. "No puns, Maybourne. Yu?"

"Daniel?" Maybourne asked.

"Shut up," Jack snapped.

"Yu," confirmed Daniel. "He was one of the last Goa'uld here. He handed the planet over to his bride at the time, Kausalya."

"Never heard of her," Jack said, unintelligently.

"Well, firstly, it's a him," said Daniel, receiving looks of confusion, distaste and humour from his companions. "The name comes from the Ancient Indonesian Ramayana. It's a popular legend with puppets. But that doesn't necessarily mean that she was a he…or vice versa. He might have had a female host or she might have had a male host. It doesn't really matter. Anyway, Kausalya was Yu's bride at the time and he gave her this planet in exchange for power. Apparently Kausalya was a threat to the System Lords, so Yu traded this planet for most of her infantry and supplies."

"Why?" Jack interrupted.

"I assume because he wanted more power and she wanted to study the Ancient stash," Daniel answered, distractedly. "She ruled here for a few centuries before the rebellion. When it got too heated, she tried to wipe out the entire population so that the other System Lords would think there was nothing worth coming back to."

"Why has she not returned to retrieve the Ancient devices?" Teal'c asked.

"I don't know," Daniel said. "Bahasa Indonesia isn't one of my most proficient languages. The wall says something about a power the Goa'uld couldn't fight against, a stranger with the power to _makan waktu. _Directly, that means 'eat time.'"

"Eat time?" Sam asked, looking over at Jack and knowing exactly what he would be picturing.

"Perhaps it refers to the same Ancient who left the time machine on Harry Maybourne's home planet," Teal'c offered.

"It's possible," Sam agreed. "The positioning of the two planets is incredibly close. I wouldn't be surprised if you could even dial this gate without a DHD."

Harry nodded. "That's where I found this gate address," he said. "It was hidden around the temple of old."

"_Pada tahun tiga ribu dua, orang Tanah Tua Berkelahi dengan Kausalya, yang bohon. Banyak adik dan kakak meninggal. Akan tetapi, ketika kami pikir Kausalya akan menang, kami menyelamatkan oleh orang yang tua sekali! Dia pergi ke dunia kami naik Mesin yang makan waktu."_Daniel read.

"Ah, I see," Jack drawled.

"Oh, sorry," said Daniel, turning his attention back to his team.

"Uh, the script is crude Indonesian. It says, _'In the year 3002, the people of the Land Of Old fought against Kausalya, the liar. Many brothers and sisters died. However, when they thought Kausalya would win, they were saved by a very ancient man. He came to the planet in a machine that eats time.'"_

"The time machine you found in the forest?" Harry asked.

"I think so," said Daniel.

"How did he drive back the Goa'uld?" Sam asked.

"I don't know," Daniel said. "This makes no sense. Why would an Ancient meddle in our plane of existence?"

"No idea," Jack answered.

"But he didn't even help them. Not really. He came during the middle of the battle, drove Kausalya's army away and then left the people with nothing. He didn't help them rebuild or anything."

"So?"

"So…" Daniel repeated. "It doesn't make sense, Jack. If he wanted to help them, why did he only do half the job?"

"Maybe it wasn't the people he was protecting," Sam said.

"Of what are you thinking, Colonel Carter?" Teal'c asked.

"Well, he has a time machine. He obviously came forward in time to this place for a reason. What if he drove back Kausalya in order to protect something else?"

"Like…"

"Like this cavern?" Carter suggested. "The devices inside of it?"

"Or a woman," said Maybourne.

SG-1 turned to look at him. His face was alight with understanding.

"That would be unlikely," Teal'c said.

"No, I'm sure of it," Harry said, excitedly. He gathered them around him and sat down, his legs crossed and his palms facing the ceiling, the same way Dedi had done the day before. "There's an old fairy tale in the villages about Oz's two moons, Pramana, the wise one, and Ika, the pure. It is said that Ika was once a village girl, daughter of a wealthy blacksmith. Pramana watched her from the heavens and fell in love with her. One day, a war plagued the earth and Ika was killed. Pramana descended from the cosmos and tried to seek revenge on Pramana's murderer. Legend says there was a flash of light, and Pramana was sent back to the sky before he could kill him. He took Ika with him to live in the heavens, where they stand guard over the earth as the two moons, showing their light in dark times."

Harry stood up again, looking around the group. "So what do you think?"

"I think it's a long shot," Jack said.

"But possible," Sam said. "We know that Ancients can take human form. We've seen it," she said, looking significantly to Daniel, who nodded, remembering how he himself, had retaken human form after bring ascended. "We also know that it's possible for Ancients to have feelings for mortals…" she trailed off.

"Orlin," Jack followed.

"Yes sir," she answered. "It would explain why this Ancient didn't help the people. Ika was the only one he cared about."

"The legend makes sense too. Pramana was _sent _back to sky. Undoubtedly, the rest of the Ancients figured out what he was doing and tried to stop him from meddling in our plane of existence," Daniel said, spitting out the words at such a velocity that anyone who had not heard him do so for the last eight years would have missed every word he said.

"This was all about a girl?" Jack asked.

"That would seem apparent, O'Neill," Teal'c said.

Jack shook his head. "Didn't Shakespeare teach anyone anything? Lovers from separate sides of the watering hole are just bad news!"

"I find it unlikely that such tales would be told on this planet, O'Neill," said Teal'c, helpfully.

"I know, T, I was being…"

"Uh oh," Daniel interrupted.

"Oh, for cryin' out loud, Daniel, what now?"

Daniel was now crouched up against one of the walls written in Goa'uld.

"Ah," sighed Maybourne as he approached Daniel. "Yes, I thought you'd say that."

"You've read this wall?" Daniel asked, accusingly.

"Yes, I have. I thought it was an empty threat," he said, lamely.

Daniel shook his head.

"What?" asked Jack. Daniel sighed in frustration.

"While Maybourne was busy playing king…again," he said scathingly, "He didn't find it important to mention to his people or to us that the Goa'uld would be coming back."

"They haven't left for good?" Jack asked hopefully.

"Hardly," said Daniel. "According to this, Kausalya left a couple of spies stationed on the planet after she was drawn back by the Ancient. They attempted to bring an end to any further rebellion against the Goa'uld. Even though they failed and were killed, they did record the time of Kausalya's next visit so that any Goa'uld who tried to take over this planet would know that it was in Kausalya's domain."

Jack groaned. "No, Daniel, don't tell me…"

Daniel shook his head. "Sorry Jack, I know how much you hate clichéd coincidences, but…"

Jack swore loudly, his brash tone echoing throughout the caves.

"Kausalya's coming."


	12. Fly, My Pretties!

The evacuation began in mere minutes. The citizens of Oz were by no means co-operative; almost every man, woman and child believing that the Wizard would save the day. After wasting far too much time explaining the danger to the defiant villagers, SG-1 finally managed to convince them that going into hiding would be a good thing.

"How come all the simple missions turn so ugly?" Jack whined, as they rounded up yet another village and led them to safety. Maybourne had shown them a series of underground caves, not far from the forest in which SG-1 had encountered the 'replicators'. The Ozzians would stay there until word could be sent to the Munchkins, the keepers of the Stargate, to evacuate.

"I take it the experience is ruining your Oz fantasies?" Sam asked, sympathetically.

Jack nodded. "And to think we could have walked out at the end of act one," he joked, hoping that Sam didn't notice as he stole a split-second, less than commander-like glance at her in her Dorothy dress. The experience hadn't ruined _all _of his Oz fantasies.

Sam received his joke with a bright smile before turning back to the Ozzians, who were anxiously following them to the caves. There was a loud bang and red sparks shot through the sky.

"That's the Munchkins," Maybourne shouted over the sea of fearful heads. Daniel squinted and looked up at the flare as its remnants flowed back down over Munchkinland. "The gate has been breeched."

"They're using the gate?" Daniel asked.

"That makes sense," Sam answered. "Daniel said that Kausalya traded most of her resources with Yu. The ships that she did have left were probably destroyed during the rebellion."

As they talked, SG-1 and Maybourne continued to hustle the Ozzians into the caves. Hundreds of the green clad people were already inside and those that were more well-known in the city ushered the others into the cave's interior. One corner was filled with small children, most of whom were crying or shivering with fear. Jack made a move to comfort them, but Sam stopped him, resting her hand on his elbow to hold him back. They didn't have time for that.

When they were certain that the evacuation was being taken care of, Jack and SG-1 made their way back to the Emerald City to devise a plan.

"There's got to be more than a handful of guys here that can man a weapon," Jack suggested. "We're gonna need back up."

Sam nodded. "I've already spoken to Maybourne. He said the Ozzian forces are already stationed in the citadels of the city, waiting for our command. Unfortunately, the gate is too well guarded to send a transmission for back up from Earth."

"What kind of numbers are we looking at?" Jack asked.

"The Munchkins have sent word that there are at least fifty Jaffa with more on the way." Daniel said.

"Fifty? What the hell?"

"It appears Kausalya believes the Ancient artefacts on this planet are indeed worthy of possessing," Teal'c said.

"Yeah, but fifty?" Jack asked.

"They must have known there'd be strong resistance," said Sam. "But how? If they haven't been here for over a century…"

"Not all the spies were killed," said Daniel suddenly.

"What?" asked Jack, impatiently.

"The spies that Kausalya left here after the rebellion. One of them must still be alive. They've obviously kept in contact."

"Great," wheezed Jack. "We've got a mole."

* * *

Within the hour, the Jaffa forces stormed the Emerald City,

"How the hell did they get here so fast?" Jack whispered as they watched the warriors march through the cobbled roads. "It took us over a day!"

"We followed the road, Jack," Daniel said. "There's probably a more direct route."

"And they have inside intel on the layout of the planet. The mole probably gave them all the short cuts," Sam rattled. They watched silently as Kausalya's troops began to pillage the city. They took down houses with their staff weapons and explosives, raising entire buildings to the ground.

"Why destroy the city?" asked Sam. "Why not go straight for the Ancient cave?"

Daniel answered her, his eyes remaining firmly focussed on the Jaffa troops. "This isn't just about technology," he said. "This is revenge. These people have forsaken the Goa'uld and united under a new god."

"Indeed. Kausalya is reasserting her power as the only God worthy of worship," Teal'c said, his deep baritone voice laced with disgust.

A contingent of Jaffa exited one of the Salons, dragging a small girl, kicking and screaming.

"Rini," Jack whispered fiercely, and made a move to leave the safety of their cover.

"O'Neill, you must stay," Teal'c whispered forcefully, a heavy hand on Jack's shoulder. "Our position must not be made."

"He's right, sir," said Sam, her face equally as red with fury as Jack's. "We need to maintain our cover."

"What the hell is she doing here? Why isn't she with the others?" Jack whispered. They had met up with the small girl only minutes before, as they ushered her and her family into the caves.

"She must have followed us," Daniel whispered back.

Jack gritted his teeth and huffed angrily. They watched as the Jaffa beat the little girl, trying to force her to answer questions that she didn't know or understand.

"Where are you hiding the Tau'ri?" a Jaffa warrior barked.

"What is a Tau'ri?" Rini asked, her face wet with tears.

"Where are they?" the Jaffa barked again. Kausalya's First Prime was no where in sight.

"Where are who? Who are you?" the little girl wept, before she was slapped hard on the face.

"Where are the humans who call themselves SG-1?" the Jaffa snarled. Rini cast a fleeting glance towards SG-1's hiding place and swallowed heavily.

"I…I don't know who you are talking about," she said, her voice trembling with fear. The Jaffa had keen eyes though, and followed her momentary look towards the old building in which SG-1 were hidden.

"We've been made," Jack whispered into his radio as the Jaffa began to march toward them,

"Copy that," Maybourne replied, breaking the radio silence. SG-1 sank lower behind the small window as the clinking of Jaffa armour approached.

Their secretive hush was ended abruptly with a loud burst of gunfire. The Ozzian sentries had opened fire.

"It's show time," Jack said, and SG-1 moved out from their cover to join the fight.


	13. Ease on Down the Road

The fighting went on for hours. No matter how hard the Ozzians and SG-1 tried, they couldn't hold back the Jaffa, who continued to kill countless Ozzians, despite the fact that many had no weapons of their own.

Jack and Sam had managed to rescue a frightened Rini from the swarms of Jaffa. She was crying into Sam's shoulder as Jack finished off the warriors who were trying to reclaim her. As much as they wanted to comfort and make sure she was alright, the had a job to do. A huge one at that. Jack barked a few short orders into his radio and within seconds, an Ozzian rushed into the stream of fire and retrieved the little girl. Rini cried harder and held out her arms for Sam. It was all Sam could do not to cry back.

SG-1 were both muddy and bloody, and were struggling to keep the Jaffa from completely massacring the planet.

"These guys just don't stop," heaved Daniel, as they ran from one explosive-made foxhole to another.

"Super Soldiers eat your heart out," Jack muttered in agreement as he opened fire.

"Sir, we're losing," Carter pointed out, needlessly. "I think it's time we called for reinforcements."

"Negative, Colonel, the gate's inaccessible," Jack shot back, yelling over the noise of the battle.

"We can't win, sir," Sam continued. "Too many natives have died and I don't think we can beat this many Jaffa on our own."

"She's right, Jack," Daniel contributed. "We need more teams."

SG-1 took cover in the foxhole, sheathing their weapons for a few moments to work out a strategy. Teal'c remained active, shooting over the cratered earth of their foxhole every few seconds.

"How do we retake the gate?" Daniel asked, putting his back to the wall of the hole.

"We'll need the Munchkins," Sam pointed out. "Those that went into hiding around Munchkinland should still be alive." She took the end of her suggestion as a cue to open fire once more, and after exercising her P-90 for a few seconds, slumped back against the earthy wall. "The intel from the area suggests only a small number of Jaffa left at the gate. Word is that most of them have come here to join the fight."

"Not that we can completely trust any intel we receive," Daniel reminded her, with a short burst of gunfire over the foxhole. "The mole, remember?"

Sam nodded. "I still think we need to risk it. Sir?"

"This is your team, Carter," he said, wiping sweat from his brow, "Your decision."

The team covered themselves as an explosive missed its mark, sending debris flying into their earthy barricade.

"Do it," he barked in agreement, and pulled a small piece of metal debris from his leg.

* * *

The trip back to Munchkinland was dangerous. Their attempt at stealth was unsuccessful when a tall Jaffa saw them running and shot after them.

"What the hell?" Jack hissed as they ran, escaping the staff weapon blast by mere inches. They shot back at him, the four weapons over powering the single soldier, and he went down without too much of a fight.

"Finally," said Jack, miming a point on a scoreboard. "Move out," he commanded, and SG-1 continued to run to Munchkinland.

As they made their way through the poppies, Sam grinned vengefully and pointed to the road surrounding it, which could barely be seen over the red poppy horizon. There, lying on the yellow path, were at least six Jaffa, face down on the cold, hard brick. "Sleep well," she whispered dryly under her breath. Daniel gave her a concerned look. Maybe he had underestimated just how poorly the poison had made his team mate feel.

One quick look was all he could give her however, for mere seconds later they were spotted again and had to practically lie down on the bottom of the flower bed to keep cover. Once they were sure the Jaffa had gone, they got up again and continued their journey to Munchkinland.

Their second visit to the quaint town could not have been more different than their first. There were burning houses everywhere in sight, their thatched roofs emitting billows of smoke that rose meters into the sky, like hazy obelisks. One look around confirmed the worst of SG-1's fears. The town had been completely overrun by the enemy.

"I guess the intel wasn't exactly right," groaned Daniel as they made their way through the scorched settlement. They stopped as they noticed a familiar house, its roof just beginning to smoke. A cry sounded from within.

"Help! Help!" the voice cried, accompanied by a few coughs and splutters.

"Dedi," realized Daniel, and he tore into the cottage, with a hand over his face to block the smoke.

"Daniel," Sam cried after him and with a shake of her head and a sigh to her other team mates, followed Daniel into the house and gestured for her remaining team to do the same.

"She's here," yelled Daniel. SG-1 followed the sound of his voice, into the familiar family room of the cottage, where, wild and scared, an injured woman sat.

"You've returned," Dedi said with disbelief. "Why? Their numbers are far too great!"

"We received incorrect intel on the situation," Sam explained quickly. "But that's not important now. We've got to get you out of here!"

Dedi nodded and allowed the Tau'ri to escort her out of her burning house. They cleared the area and set her down in the town gardens.

"Thank you," Dedi wheezed, wringing Jack's hand. "You have saved my life. You are indeed most deserving heroes."

Daniel squirmed uncomfortably and Jack gave a grimace that clearly said he did not agree. Dedi did not seem to notice. Her face had just turned from a tired smile, to a fully awake and very scared frown.

"Sajiwara! Have you seen him?" she cried in remembrance.

"We have not," said Teal'c. "Has ill befallen him?"

Dedi nodded fearfully. "He was taken from the cottage by two of those…those…"

"Jaffa?" Jack offered.

Dedi nodded. "They took him just before they set the cottage alight. They knew him by name!"

Sam looked to her team in confusion. This was not the random pillaging of a group of Jaffa whose business lay elsewhere.

"We'll find him," assured Daniel and he looked to Sam and Jack for confirmation.

"We'll see what we can do," Sam agreed.

They moved out again, still heading towards the gate, but keeping a keen eye out for Sajiwara, or any other locals in trouble. They were almost at the end of the residential area of the town when they heard hushed voices from within one of the houses.

The Tau'ri are not in Munchkinland," one of the voices growled. "I told you. We sent them to the Emerald City. They must be there."

"They were," a voice barked back. "They have since escaped our forces. Are you giving them sanctuary?"

"No," the first voice replied. "I have done what Kausalya demanded of me. It must be you who has blundered."

Sam and her team peered in through the slightly opened door. They saw the back of a large Jaffa warrior, clad with a staff weapon. Behind him was a very scared-looking Mayor Sajiwara. They quickly retreated from the area.

"Sajiwara's the mole?" Jack asked.

"So it would seem," replied Teal'c, his face very grave.

"No wonder the Jaffa were able to take the town so quickly," said Sam, "The betrayer had access to all the resources of Munchkinland."

"Not to mention the power to make his people believe that nothing was wrong."

"But he's not a Jaffa," said Jack, suddenly. He turned to Daniel. "The mole was one of the Jaffa spies who stayed after the rebellion. Saggy-wearer's human."

"Not necessarily," Daniel said. "It said there was a _spy._ Not a Jaffa spy."

"So what is he? A baked potato?"

The team were drawn back to the doorway when a loud scream emanated from within the house.

"How dare you challenge me?" Sajiwara's voice boomed. "Kree!"

Sajiwara's eyes glowed.

"Well that explains_that_ then," Jack whispered. Sam shot him a fierce look and put her finger over her lips. She made the gesture for her team to retreat again.

"Well that explains_that_ then," Jack repeated.

"That's impossible," Sam disagreed. "I would have sensed the naqquada in his…unless he was injecting the same chemicals as Kianna,"

"Kianna?" Jack asked.

"Jonas's…assistant, on Langara."

"Surely he wouldn't have known about that," said Daniel.

"And how would he have procured such chemicals?" asked Teal'c.

"I don't know. But he's a Goa'uld and I don't know how," said Sam, gritting her teeth. Nothing on this planet made sense.

"It makes sense though. If we're to assume that he's been here since the initial rebellion, then it would make sense to also assume, that being a Goa'uld, he would need to put himself in a position of power," reasoned Daniel.

"Wouldn't he want to lay low?" Sam asked.

"He's a snake, Carter," said Jack. "When do they ever choose to 'lay low'"

"Indeed," said Teal'c, distastefully.

"And yet," Jack, taking a look at his watch. "Goa'uld or not, we still need those reinforcements."

"Right, sir," said Sam, distractedly and led her team to the gate.

Once they had reached the gate, it was obvious that the situation at the Stargate had been wildly misrepresented. The fifty Jaffa that were supposedly on the planet could have almost been head-counted in just the thirty square feet surrounding the Stargate.

"Well, this could be a little difficult," Jack said, needlessly.

"We have to try," Sam replied. She motioned for her team to follow her to a more secure place. If they were spotted now they would certainly be defeated. SG-1 found cover behind the few trees to the right of the Stargate and stood in anxiety, trying to think of a plan to get past almost fifty Jaffa.

Their answer arrived in the form of a large ship, which appeared in the sky. The Jaffa turned to face it, some cheering, others quaking in fear. "Kausalya has come, Kausalya has come," they shouted, some in awe and others in terror.

The arrival of the massive ship gave SG-1 just the window they were looking for. The Jaffa would be distracted for just enough time to get to the DHD, dial earth and send someone through. The plan was reckless and desperate, Sam knew, but she also knew that if they didn't call for reinforcements now, they would be too late.

They wordlessly decided to send Daniel through the gate. Sam was to dial the DHD and Jack was to watch their six from behind it. Teal'c would stay at a distance and eliminate any threat from the Jaffa troops. As the ship began its decent to the planet, Sam made the call to begin. She and Jack ran low, from the cover of the trees to the DHD. So far, the Jaffa had not noticed the breach of security, being far too engulfed by the large ship carrying their god. Some of them had even begun to abandon their post, either to greet the ship or to escape before Kausalya had landed. In a split-second thought, Teal'c mused that the Jaffa were obviously young, new recruits to the deity of Kausalya and poorly trained to have fled their leader. He was glad for it, for though he would not speak his mind, he thought SG-1's plan had crossed the line of practicality. However, he said nothing, knowing the implications of having no plan at all. He swore to himself that he would do all in his power to ensure that the harebrained scheme could at least be given some chance of actually succeeding.

After taking cover behind the DHD, Sam shuffled beside Jack to face it. She made eye contact with Daniel, who nodded in readiness. She took in a deep breath and started to dial the gate. She winced as the panel lit up and made its ever familiar noise. The Jaffa behind them began to turn around and raise their weapons. From the bushes, Teal'c fired at them and one by one, they started to fall. Jack let loose from Sam's left side, firing his P-90 at the troops and swearing under his breath. He heard Sam scream. He looked over at her and saw that she had been hit. She remained standing however, and unleashed her own P-90 upon the troops. Jack relaxed momentarily. She must have only been grazed.

Sam's heart rate skyrocketed as she heard the familiar _kawoosh _of the gate. She saw Daniel bolting from behind the trees. Sam, Teal'c and Jack covered him as he ran towards the gate. They somehow managed to keep him safe as he ran through the open field.

Sam's keen peripheral vision however, noticed that all around them Jaffa were fleeing, some screaming and others pointing toward the sky. With a look up, she noticed that the huge ship was decending toward them. She turned to notify General O'Neill, but he too had noticed the ship and swore fiercely.

"It's going to destroy the gate," Sam said, not taking her eyes of the large vessel.

"We've gotta go Carter. After Daniel."

Sam looked wildly around for Teal'c, who was still at his post amongst the trees.

"Teal'c!" she yelled, as Daniel leapt into the event horizon.

"Go!" he yelled back at her, continuing to fire at the few Jaffa that remained.

"No!" she shouted back obstinately, but she was all too aware that the ship was fast approaching.

"Come on, Carter," Jack said, grabbing her arm. She took a look back for Teal'c who had disappeared behind the cover of the bushes. She tried to budge out of Jack's hold but he pulled her towards the gate so hard that she could not help but follow. Realising that he was right, she stopped struggling and ran with him towards the open wormhole. She looked back out at the ship, which was mere metres away. Dust blew into her face and she spluttered as she followed her commanding officer through the gate.


	14. Click Your Heels

Sam and Jack tumbled out of the open wormhole after Daniel just in time to see a few bursts of electricity before the connection was lost and the Stargate shut down.

"Redial the gate!" Jack barked as soon as he had stood up, brushing the ample dirt of his pants as he spoke.

From up in the Control Room, Sergeant Harriman nodded and began his systematic countdown to wormhole activation.

"_Chevron one, encoded…"_

"Sir, the chances that we can reconnect…

"_Chevron two, encoded…"_

"…are fairly minimal. I mean, we've seen gates destroyed before by massive hits from spacecraft…"

"_Chevron three, encoded…"_

"…but even if the gate itself is still functional, it's likely that it's…"

"_Chevron four, encoded…"_

"…been buried in rubble, in which case we won't be able to connect anyway…"

"Colonel!" Jack barked. "We don't leave our people behind!"

"_Chevron five, encoded…"_

"I'm just saying sir, we might need to find a different mode of transport, should the gate fail to connect. I think we need to contact the Tok'ra, or the Asgard, or…"

"_Chevron six, encoded…"_

"Let's just wait to see if the gate connects before we start on plan Bs," said Daniel, calmly. "Who knows, maybe the gate wasn't affected and the wormhole will…"

"_Chevron seven will not lock. I repeat. Chevron seven will not lock_,"

"…connect," Daniel finished lamely.

Jack swore loudly.

* * *

"So what's the plan?" Jack asked, a few hours later in the briefing room.

"We tried to contact the Tok'ra," Sam said. "But they can't provide any ships at the moment."

Everyone in the room except for Daniel was staring at her. "What?" she snapped.

"Uh, Colonel," Sergeant Harriman said. "You're…uh…out of uniform."

The SFs in the room sniggered at the sight of the SG-1 leader dressed as Dorothy.

"Ah, pipe down!" Jack barked. "In case you haven't noticed, we've got work to do!" He turned back to Sam. "So the Tok'ra punked out?" He asked politely to put out the glare on his 2IC's face.

"That's right," she answered, ignoring his attempts completely. She unconsciously stroked her arm, where a medic had bandaged her staff-weapon graze.

"The Asgard?" Jack asked.

"We can't get a hold of them," said Daniel.

"Damn it!"

"And the Prometheus is still out of commission," Sam said with a look at Daniel. His last trip in the ship had caused considerable damage, due to the fiery thief who had changed and sabotaged many of the control systems onboard.

"Crap!"

"You said it, sir," Sam replied.

"What do you think will happen to Teal'c?" Daniel asked.

"It depends how quickly we can get to him," Sam said. "Who knows what might be happening. If the ship did crash into the Stargate, the explosion on impact could have been huge. If so, it's possible that the ship was destroyed along with all the Jaffa that were waiting for it. And if not, there are about a hundred Jaffa and a few Goa'uld on the planet, if they didn't die in the crash."

"Oh wee oh, we o-o-oh," Jack dirged.

"Sir," she reprimanded, and he stopped his imitation of the Winkies.

"So the gate still isn't working?" Daniel confirmed.

"We've attempted to establish a wormhole a totally of eight times," Walter said, "and each time has failed."

"Maybe Teal'c can click his heels," Jack grumbled, smoothing down his headache with his hand. Sam rolled her eyes.

"About that sir," Walter asked, glancing back to Colonel Carter again. "What exactly happened on the planet?"

"A whole lot of 'don't ask'," Jack said.

"Harry Maybourne has been posing as the God of their planet," Daniel provided, repeating the same story he had told them before. "We discovered that the Goa'uld who originally ruled there was returning. A contingent of Jaffa came through the gate and we fought them as best as we could. We headed back to the Stargate to call for back up, but the Goa'uld's ship came out of orbit. Something must have gone wrong because the ship was crashing. We had to get out of the way. So we came through the gate."

"And left Teal'c behind," said Sam.

"Right," he said with regret and turned his attention back to his team. "Daniel, write a list of all the allies we have who might be able to give us a ship, Harriman, try dialing the gate again, Carter, try and find us another way there…wait…change into your BDUs and then try to find us another way there. Dismissed!"

His team nodded and began filing out of the briefing room.

"Do you think he's alright?" Sam asked, before she left.

"I don't know, Carter. Let's hurry the hell up and find out!"

* * *

The next three days could not have been longer. The attempts at contacting the Asgard and Tok'ra were still failing and little progress had been made. All hopes of getting Teal'c back lay with Sam and the hope that the Stargate had not been completely destroyed.

Sam sat down at her lab desk and sighed. How on earth was she supposed to find alternate means of getting to that planet? If the Stargate had been destroyed then there was no way of establishing a wormhole, but if it had only been buried, then they had a good chance. She pulled out the extensive files she had written when General O'Neill had been trapped on Edora. She had pulled them out at lest a dozen times over the last few days. These files were the closest thing she had to tangible solutions to the problem.

The fact that they could not even establish a wormhole however, meant that they could not use the same methods. Sam hoped to god that the Stargate had just been damaged and not completely destroyed. If it had, there was almost no chance that Teal'c was still alive. Regardless, it seemed very unlikely that they would be able to use the Stargate at all.

She took a look at the files with a feeling of nausea. Of all her missions risking her life and going beyond the call of duty, this was the one that she wished she never had to make. She shook herself off with a thought of Teal'c and opened the cover of the file.

"Unauthorized of World Activation!"

Sam dropped the file and ran out of her lab to the control room.

* * *

"What have we got?" Jack asked Walter.

"Radio transmission," Sergeant Harriman replied. "Listen!"

"_Ding dong, the Witch is dead. Which old witch? The wicked witch!"_

"Oh, for crying out loud!"

Sam and Daniel looked to each other excitedly.

"What?" Jack snapped at them.

"It's the Ozzians!"

"They're celebrating!"

"And they're using a radio!"

"It's got to be Teal'c's!"

The pair were buzzing.

"Hold your horses," Jack waved at them. "How do we know it's them? It could be a trick."

"Jack, I doubt Maybourne would have taught the Jaffa how to sing," Daniel said, a wide grin on his face.

"Good point. Get a team in the control room and open the iris."

A team of armed SFs jogged into the gate room and the metal iris opened. From it spun a scorched hand device bearing a set of symbols.

"It's a gate address," Daniel exclaimed.

They beamed at each other. There was still hope!


	15. There's No Place Like Home

_Well, folks - this is the end. Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! This has been an absolute hoot, so thanks a lot for allowing me to share it with you_

* * *

Sam, Daniel and Jack stepped through the Stargate to see a planet bustling with small people.

"The munchkins," Sam said warmly. There was hope for Teal'c yet.

They had been very quick to dial the co-ordinates thrown through the Stargate. There had been protocols to follow and a quick briefing, but the team had wasted no time. Teal'c's life was at stake.

"Urgh," Jack said and gestured next to them. Once again, a Munchkin had been chopped in half by the wormhole.

It was Sajiwara.

"Oh my god," Sam said, covering her mouth. "That's…"

"I guess they found the mole then," Jack grimaced. A munchkin startled him by tapping him on the leg.

"You've returned," she said.

"Dedi!"

"Yes, it is I," she said, looking sadly at her husband's dismembered body. "I hope I find you well?" she asked, her eyes brimming with tears.

"What happened?" asked Sam, bending over to face the small woman, eye to eye.

"He was evil," she said. "Evil lived inside him and now it has been vanquished." She lay a hand on her husband's dead body. "Like the Witch of the East, he was possessed. His eyes glowed gold and…he was never my husband…" she cried softly for a moment before walking away.

"The woman we found when we got here…" Sam mused.

"She was a spy too?"

"She must have been," Sam said.

"Ya know, I wish Maybourne would tell us something every once and a while," Jack grumbled.

"Look," Daniel said, pointing to the sky. Kausalya's ship, scorched and slightly mangled, landed beside them. Dozens of little people ran out.

"They've returned, they've returned!" One shouted. "The Wizard knew they would!"

"The Wizard knew they would," the repeated.

"Here we go again," Jack drawled.

Before they knew it, they were being pulled by the legs of their pants through the long grass of planet.

"They've returned, they've returned!" they cried to all in earshot, and before long there was a hoard of munchkins following them.

They stopped at large tent made from canvas, metal pieces and the material of Teal'c's swag. Sam, Jack and Daniel looked at each other anxiously before they stepped inside.

"You've returned!" boomed a loud voice from the far end of the tent. Sitting on a seat that belonged in a Goa'uld ship was Harry Maybourne.

Sam, Jack and Daniel ran towards him, looking from side to side. There was no sign of Teal'c.

"You're alive," Jack said, not all too thrilled.

"So it would seem," Maybourne said with a twinkle in his eye. "As are you, I see."

"What happened?" asked Daniel. "How did you escape?"

"Ah, it was all the power of the Wizard," Harry bellowed, and all the Ozzians in the tent cheered in thanks.

"Cut the crap, Maybourne," Jack said. "What the hell happened? And where's Teal'c?"

"All in good time, my friend," Maybourne said and gestured to the closest Ozzians. They ran away quickly and returned with a platter of fruit.

"Not what I'm used to, but this planet does have some delightful flavors," he said, taking a bite out of a yellow fruit. "Some?" he asked, offering the fruit to Sam.

"No thank you," she replied, scathingly.

"You're not wearing your dress," Maybourne pouted and Sam glared daggers at him. "Not to worry," he continued. "It would seem the people of Oz don't believe you are Dorothy anymore, anyhow."

"They don't?" Sam asked, both ridiculously relieved and a little bit disappointed.

"No," Maybourne said with a small chuckle. "You see, after you left through the Stargate…"

"Yes, tell us about that, if you please," Jack growled.

"Alright, alright. It's never any fun with you, is it Jack?" Maybourne frowned. "After you left, Kausalya's ship crashed. It hit the Stargate, but not hard enough to destroy it. The gate was buried along with several Jaffa," he joked. "The remaining troops patrolling the gate fled or watched in horror as Teal'c entered the crashed ship and brought out their dead god."

"Sounds like Teal'c," Jack grinned to Sam. She grinned back in megawatt fashion. He was alive!

"After that, he went around the country side, showing the Jaffa their false god, urging them to join the rebel Jaffa, yadda yadda yadda, while myself and some of the mechanics from the Emerald City tried to whip the Ship back into flying shape."

"What for?" Daniel asked.

"Relocation, of course," Maybourne said, gesturing around him. "Your Jaffa didn't convert all of them. Ozzians were still getting blasted by Jaffa fire, so I decided, as the wonderful Wizard of Oz, that it was time to find a new home."

"So you took every one in your hot air balloon," Jack said.

"Not yet," Harry replied. "I'm good, but I can't relocate a whole planet in less than a week! You might have seen Kausalya's ship landing in New Munchkinland. It should do about three more trips before everyone is rounded up."

"What about Teal'c? Jack asked urgently. "What happened to Teal'c?"

"Ah," said Harry. "That's where the real story starts. You see, the Ozzians were so grateful to him for saving their people, and for…well, killing the Wicked Witch…" he chuckled to himself.

"What?" snapped Jack.

"Look for yourself," Maybourne said and gestured behind them

It was Teal'c. He was surrounded by a huge hoard of Ozzians.

"T! Buddy!" Jack yelled and jogged over to his Jaffa friend, Daniel and Sam not far behind. The sea of Ozzians parted and they were able to see their friend properly.

They stood, wide eyed. It was unbelievable.

The Ozzians had dressed him in a blue and white checkered dress and painted his boots red.

"Teal'c…" Jack called, trying to hide his amusement. "So…you're the new Dorothy, huh?"

"So it would seem, O'Neill," Teal'c answered, his voice expressionless.

"Well…it's good to see you," Daniel said, bemused.

"We were worried," Sam said.

Teal'c bowed his head. "I am glad for your concern," he said.

"Well, what concerns me more right now, T, is the fact that you're wearing…"

"Do not speak of it, O'Neill," Teal'c said stubbornly. "It is a great honor."

Sam looked at Jack and grinned wildly. Teal'c was never going to live this down.

"Of course it's an honor, Teal'c," Jack said. "Just make sure that skirt stays below the knee."

His team mates lost it.

"Ozzians," shouted an elderly man. "Join us in rejoicification! The Wicked Witch is dead!"

"Hail Dorothy, the Wicked Witch is dead!"

"Hail Dorothy," Jack joined in and slapped Teal'c on his blue and white checkered back.

fin


End file.
